I
was listening to Oprah just now and she had some gals on doing a wardrobe
makeover on unsuspecting women off the street.
Well one of the
biggest problems it seems is the BRAS that are made for women. A HUGE
complaint as far as how they DO NOT SUPPORT!!! AHA!! Like none of us knew
about THAT!!!
So Oprah promised to do a show on not only Bras but
Underware!!! (something dear to my rear)
Gettin my drift gals????
Ok now that you are with me here is what we all need to do. I am serious
as an anal tick here.
We need to put those first posts to good use for
all women, not just us dirt bag endurance riders but who better to be test
subjects for Bras?? Who better to be crash test "knocker" dummies than
us??
Here is my scam....err I mean PLAN. And I don't mean some stupid
sexy push up cleavage touting thingies, I am talking "STEEL BELTED NO
BOUNCE!" with NO BOUNCE being the key ingredient here. and not some man
looking brick looking boob job bra either. Sheesh. You know no woman
designs those gawd-awful torture devices. It is a man that was bottle fed
and hates his mother.
We need to write to Oprah. Everyone write
in a good story about the problems with bras. Make it juicy. Don't hold
back. Talk about the flabby underarms, the concussion to our heads from
bouncing boobs, the black eyes from getting hit with a trotters tit, a
bloody nose from a malicious melon to the snout.
The rash from
saggy baggy bosoms drooping on our bellies. The pain of those conventional
bras that never fit right. Oh we will be sure to be on the show if you all
step up to the cup.
Don't make it too too long, everyone gets a shot at
this. Just the facts ma'am and sign your name then I will send them all as
one into Oprahs show. Don't be namby pamby either. Remember who you
are....tough as nails endurance/trail women. We want justice! We want
reprieve! We want COMFORT and damn well want SUPPORT! We want these
knothead designer men to stand up and let our boobs stand up without
BOUNCE or underwire!! Let them put barbedwire in their shorts to hold up
their balls when they start sagging and bouncing down the trail for 50-100
miles. Hrumph.
We will call ourselves the NO BOUNCE BRIGADE on a
RAMPAGE!!
So are you with me or agin me?? Pass this on to other women
that have had it with these bra manufacturers...Our time has
come!!
...geez, louise it's late in this day...