Ridecamp: Re: [RC] A question/ training husbands

How about pick a guy in the first place who understands that you are an
individual and respects your rights and understands that he is more than a
sperm donor and you are more than a maid.  Yesssh.

In the movie Thelma and Louise, Louise says, ' You get what you settle for,
' she was right, if you settle for it, you get it.  I'm not saying you made
a bad choice, but you should have more personal freedom.

C, who declined three marriage proposals before I accept the right one at
age 29. My husband lets me do my thing, whatever that may be, short of
cheating on him.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Rides 2 Far" <rides2far@xxxxxxxx>
To: <khanes@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Cc: <ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Tuesday, August 20, 2002 11:09 PM
Subject: [RC] A question/ training husbands


> > start endurance training with me but she has the same problem. She has
> two small  boys who are also into "motors" of any kind and a husband that
>  always seems to have other things >to do. Now I'd like to hear from the
> guys on the list...how do we get  across to  our spouses (or our friends
> spouses) that this is a chance for an  individual to complete other goals
> aside from >being "mom"?
>
> I'm not a guy, but I've got a great husband who has worked with me on
> this hobby of mine for a long time.  Here's a little advice on how to
> make it work.  First, don't say, "I'm going riding Saturday morning, can
> you watch the boys?"  You say, "What are your plans for Saturday?"  Make
> him commit first. >g<  If he's got plans, work around them.  I'm amazed
> how many women just assume they're the only one who had a long week at
> work and might have an idea what they wanted to do this weekend.
>
> A good way to work the deal to get the prime weekend time (Saturday
> early) is to let the kids stay up late Friday night watching a movie or
> something.  If Dad & boys stay up watching TV till 1:30 AM and mom goes
> to bed at 9, you should probably be able to get in a darned nice early
> ride... a good 5 hours, practically before they drag it out of bed the
> next morning.  I did a *lot* of that kind of training. Sort of working it
> where they never knew I was gone.
>
> A tip:  NEVER blame being cranky on PMS.  Say, "I'm sorry, I haven't
> ridden lately and I'm feeling cranky. I apologize"  Start to get him to
> associate all your bad behavior with lack of ride time.
>
> NEVER come home from a ride and act like it makes you not want to:  Cook,
> watch kids, clean house, or ....ummm...whatever. You get my drift?  Do
> not give him any reason to associate your bad behavior with riding.  When
> you come home from a ride hug everyone, be happy, cook something that's
> easy but will impress guys (they think macaroni & cheese is a big deal)
> As a matter of fact, if you tend to watch your weight and make them eat
> low fat, this is a good time to FRY something. :-)
>
> Train your man like you would your horse.  You've gotta use positive
> reinforcement every time you can, and make unacceptable behavior
> unpleasant.
>
> Angie (raising 2 kids, happily married 20 years. Competing in endurance
> rides 15)
>
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