[RC] A question/ training husbands - Rides 2 Far
> start endurance training with me but she has the same problem. She has
two small boys who are also into "motors" of any kind and a husband that
always seems to have other things >to do. Now I'd like to hear from the
guys on the list...how do we get across to our spouses (or our friends
spouses) that this is a chance for an individual to complete other goals
aside from >being "mom"?
I'm not a guy, but I've got a great husband who has worked with me on
this hobby of mine for a long time. Here's a little advice on how to
make it work. First, don't say, "I'm going riding Saturday morning, can
you watch the boys?" You say, "What are your plans for Saturday?" Make
him commit first. >g< If he's got plans, work around them. I'm amazed
how many women just assume they're the only one who had a long week at
work and might have an idea what they wanted to do this weekend.
A good way to work the deal to get the prime weekend time (Saturday
early) is to let the kids stay up late Friday night watching a movie or
something. If Dad & boys stay up watching TV till 1:30 AM and mom goes
to bed at 9, you should probably be able to get in a darned nice early
ride... a good 5 hours, practically before they drag it out of bed the
next morning. I did a *lot* of that kind of training. Sort of working it
where they never knew I was gone.
A tip: NEVER blame being cranky on PMS. Say, "I'm sorry, I haven't
ridden lately and I'm feeling cranky. I apologize" Start to get him to
associate all your bad behavior with lack of ride time.
NEVER come home from a ride and act like it makes you not want to: Cook,
watch kids, clean house, or ....ummm...whatever. You get my drift? Do
not give him any reason to associate your bad behavior with riding. When
you come home from a ride hug everyone, be happy, cook something that's
easy but will impress guys (they think macaroni & cheese is a big deal)
As a matter of fact, if you tend to watch your weight and make them eat
low fat, this is a good time to FRY something. :-)
Train your man like you would your horse. You've gotta use positive
reinforcement every time you can, and make unacceptable behavior
unpleasant.
Angie (raising 2 kids, happily married 20 years. Competing in endurance
rides 15)
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