Re: RC: Fear--long

["Truman Prevatt, PhD" <truman.prevatt@netsrq.com>]

Rhonda,

I don't know if you realize this yet or not, but you just got through the mental
part of  Marine boot camp :-).  Great post Jim.

Truman

Jim Holland wrote:

> Rhonda...
>
> First, there is nothing wrong with fear.  It's an emotion...like love,
> hate, desire, jealousy, etc.  Just like you learn to deal with all the
> other emotions, you have to learn to manage your fear.  In fact, fear is
> good..it keeps us from doing dangerous, stupid and life threating
> things.  You don't WANT to get rid of it.
>
> Your post indicates that you are NOT fearful when you are "riding my
> good old TWH gelding".  Why is that?  Could it be that you feel he is
> predictable, you are "comfortable" with him, know what to expect from
> him and how to deal with it?  That's the key. They way you handle your
> fear is to "get comfortable" with the OTHER horses you want to ride.
> Notice I said "want to ride".  Don't start there if you are fearful.
> I'm too old to get busted up any more.  I will not get on a horse I
> don't know without lots of prep.  I break now instead of bending! <grin>
>
> Start with the most comfortable thing you can do with that horse...on
> the ground. Round Pen work, practice leading, giving to pressure at the
> hip, dropping the head, and lots of other stuff.  Establish a "herd
> leader" mentality over the horse, so you feel in charge, and the horse
> recognizes that, respects your space, and comes when you call.
>
> When your horse will do all these things consistently and willingly,
> then start riding from scratch in a confined area.  Have someone hold
> the horse, get on, sit quietly, get off.  Repeat from the other side.
> Do it until the horse will stand quietly, no matter how much you get on
> and off and no matter what you are wearing or carrying without anyone
> holding it. Move on to slow walks around objects, trotting around
> objects, cantering around objects.  Then do it all over again in a
> larger space, then a larger space, till you are comfortable doing in
> without a confined area.  If at any point you become uncomfortable
> (fearful), back off to where you ARE comfortable and start again.
>
> A well trained horse will HELP you deal with your fear and give you
> confidence.  I still graphically remember the first time I stepped out
> on the wing strut of a Cessna 180 for my first parachute jump and the
> first time I dropped off a swim platform above 100 feet of ocean.  Was I
> fearful! YOU BETCHA!  But I had TRAINED, and had PRACTICTED it so much,
> I knew what to expect.  The difference in these things and riding is
> that there is another personality involved....the horse.  I KNEW what
> that Cessna was gonna do....and I KNEW what that boat was gonna do...all
> I had to do was make sure I knew what to do.  I DON'T know what the
> horse is gonna do unless I'm pretty darn sure I,(me personally) have
> taught it. Another good side effect is that everyone will say, "where
> did you get such a nice horse". You don't HAVE tell them they don't come
> that way! <grin>
>
> If you jump out of planes long enough, you will have a 'chute
> malfunction.  If you dive long enough, you will have an underwater
> emergency.  If you ride long enough, you WILL fall off.  Many times it's
> because of complacency.  You are SO comfortable with what your horse is
> gonna do, you relax and AREN'T fearful.  For example, sitting cross
> legged on the saddle in a creek eating a sandwich and a deer jumps
> across the road 10 feet in front of you. Splash on your back in the
> creek!  I HATE wet sandwiches! :) Who's fault was that?  The horse?
> Nope....mine. I had trained my horse TOO well...thought he was
> bombproof....ain't no such thing!
>
> But Jim, you say....that takes TIME! Yup....sure does....but it's better
> than falling off on your head...and it WORKS!....even at the start of
> the wildest Endurance Ride.  Try it with ONE horse....and you will be
> amazed at the results....for both you and the horse. Patience, Patience,
> Patience! Repetition, Repetition, Repetition!  Consistency, Consistency,
> Consistency! Some horses require 500 repetitions, some require 5000.
> That's why to me, disposition is everything.  A calm, intelligent, laid
> back horse is easier to train and you get a finished horse sooner. The
> hard ones are when someone has abused them or did not take the time to
> do it right the first time.
>
> I don't know where you live, but John Lyon's "The Perfect Horse"
> periodical had an article in the April 2001 issue entitled "Six
> Exercises to Overcome Your Riding Fears" which is very good. Perhaps
> someone on Ridecamp who lives close to you and subscribes could loan you
> their copy?  In summary, John says:
>
> Don't "beat yourself up".  If you are scared, work with it.
>
> Ride where you can and, on the horse you feel safest.
>
> Practice control exercises, so you know when you are safe and when you
> aren't.
>
> Ride specifically.  Move one part (nose, hips) in one particular
> direction.
>
> Ignore peer pressure.  It's not their rear in your saddle.
>
> Ride scared all the time...it's goodness!  Hang in there! We need you
> out on the trail! Knightmare.....what a great name!
>
> Jim and Sun of Dimanche (One more John Lyons trick and I'm gonna dump
> ya!)
>
> RhndLev@cs.com wrote:
> >
> > I had a major wreck on horseback (on that ornery Appaloosa mare I used to
> > have) a couple of years ago and ended up unable to walk for over a week and a
> > long recovery.  When I was well enough, I went back to riding my good old TWH
> > gelding to get my confidence back.  I started riding the Appy again, but
> > remained very fearful of riding with her.  I was fine with Laddie, but not
> > the Appy.  I eventually met and fell in love with Special and sold the Appy.
> > Special really helped me get over my fears, I thought.  The few times I've
> > been afraid on her, she seemed to sense it and slow down for me.  I've also
> > started a three year old Arab under saddle without too much difficulty.
> > However, apparently, I'm really not over my fears.
> >
> > Remember that four year old filly I sold and then bought back because she was
> > being starved?  I tried riding her last night.  She's had 60 days with a
> > professional trainer, but I still had a lot of anxiety about riding her.
> > She's a lot of horse and VERY quick.  [This is the horse that trotted for an
> > hour half-starved without ever trying to quit.]  I mounted her a couple of
> > times last night to see how she would do.  She stood like a rock.  However,
> > the third time I mounted, she flung her head back just as I settled into the
> > saddle, and cracked me hard in the mouth and nose.  My husband tried to grab
> > the reins to give me time to recover and the filly ducked down and to the
> > side and I went off.  The filly went down also.  I waited for us both to
> > settle down and re-mounted and went up and down the driveway twice and got
> > off.  Getting back on that horse was SO hard.  She's going to be a phenomenal
> > horse but I just don't want to ride her.  She moves so fast and there's so
> > little horse in front of me compared to Special (15.2 with a loooooong neck),
> > that I kept feeling like I was going to come off of the front of her again.
> > We do plan to sell this horse eventually, but Knightmare really needs more
> > riding experience and I have to ride her because there's no one else to do
> > it.  Please someone tell me how to get rid of this fear.
> >
> > Rhonda
> >
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> --
> Richard T. "Jim" Holland                 Phone:  (706) 258-2830
> LANCONN, Inc.                            FAX:    (706) 632-1271
> Three Creeks Farm                        INTERNET:  lanconn@tds.net
> 175 Hells Hollow Drive
> Blue Ridge, GA 30513
>
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