Re: RC: Fear--long

[Jim Holland <lanconn@tds.net>]

Rhonda...

First, there is nothing wrong with fear.  It's an emotion...like love,
hate, desire, jealousy, etc.  Just like you learn to deal with all the
other emotions, you have to learn to manage your fear.  In fact, fear is
good..it keeps us from doing dangerous, stupid and life threating
things.  You don't WANT to get rid of it.  

Your post indicates that you are NOT fearful when you are "riding my
good old TWH gelding".  Why is that?  Could it be that you feel he is
predictable, you are "comfortable" with him, know what to expect from
him and how to deal with it?  That's the key. They way you handle your
fear is to "get comfortable" with the OTHER horses you want to ride.
Notice I said "want to ride".  Don't start there if you are fearful. 
I'm too old to get busted up any more.  I will not get on a horse I
don't know without lots of prep.  I break now instead of bending! <grin> 

Start with the most comfortable thing you can do with that horse...on
the ground. Round Pen work, practice leading, giving to pressure at the
hip, dropping the head, and lots of other stuff.  Establish a "herd
leader" mentality over the horse, so you feel in charge, and the horse
recognizes that, respects your space, and comes when you call.  

When your horse will do all these things consistently and willingly,
then start riding from scratch in a confined area.  Have someone hold
the horse, get on, sit quietly, get off.  Repeat from the other side. 
Do it until the horse will stand quietly, no matter how much you get on
and off and no matter what you are wearing or carrying without anyone
holding it. Move on to slow walks around objects, trotting around
objects, cantering around objects.  Then do it all over again in a
larger space, then a larger space, till you are comfortable doing in
without a confined area.  If at any point you become uncomfortable
(fearful), back off to where you ARE comfortable and start again.

A well trained horse will HELP you deal with your fear and give you
confidence.  I still graphically remember the first time I stepped out
on the wing strut of a Cessna 180 for my first parachute jump and the
first time I dropped off a swim platform above 100 feet of ocean.  Was I
fearful! YOU BETCHA!  But I had TRAINED, and had PRACTICTED it so much,
I knew what to expect.  The difference in these things and riding is
that there is another personality involved....the horse.  I KNEW what
that Cessna was gonna do....and I KNEW what that boat was gonna do...all
I had to do was make sure I knew what to do.  I DON'T know what the
horse is gonna do unless I'm pretty darn sure I,(me personally) have
taught it. Another good side effect is that everyone will say, "where
did you get such a nice horse". You don't HAVE tell them they don't come
that way! <grin>

If you jump out of planes long enough, you will have a 'chute
malfunction.  If you dive long enough, you will have an underwater
emergency.  If you ride long enough, you WILL fall off.  Many times it's
because of complacency.  You are SO comfortable with what your horse is
gonna do, you relax and AREN'T fearful.  For example, sitting cross
legged on the saddle in a creek eating a sandwich and a deer jumps
across the road 10 feet in front of you. Splash on your back in the
creek!  I HATE wet sandwiches! :) Who's fault was that?  The horse? 
Nope....mine. I had trained my horse TOO well...thought he was
bombproof....ain't no such thing!

But Jim, you say....that takes TIME! Yup....sure does....but it's better
than falling off on your head...and it WORKS!....even at the start of
the wildest Endurance Ride.  Try it with ONE horse....and you will be
amazed at the results....for both you and the horse. Patience, Patience,
Patience! Repetition, Repetition, Repetition!  Consistency, Consistency,
Consistency! Some horses require 500 repetitions, some require 5000. 
That's why to me, disposition is everything.  A calm, intelligent, laid
back horse is easier to train and you get a finished horse sooner. The
hard ones are when someone has abused them or did not take the time to
do it right the first time.

I don't know where you live, but John Lyon's "The Perfect Horse"
periodical had an article in the April 2001 issue entitled "Six
Exercises to Overcome Your Riding Fears" which is very good. Perhaps
someone on Ridecamp who lives close to you and subscribes could loan you
their copy?  In summary, John says:

Don't "beat yourself up".  If you are scared, work with it.

Ride where you can and, on the horse you feel safest.

Practice control exercises, so you know when you are safe and when you
aren't.

Ride specifically.  Move one part (nose, hips) in one particular
direction.

Ignore peer pressure.  It's not their rear in your saddle.

Ride scared all the time...it's goodness!  Hang in there! We need you
out on the trail! Knightmare.....what a great name!

Jim and Sun of Dimanche (One more John Lyons trick and I'm gonna dump
ya!)

RhndLev@cs.com wrote:
> 
> I had a major wreck on horseback (on that ornery Appaloosa mare I used to
> have) a couple of years ago and ended up unable to walk for over a week and a
> long recovery.  When I was well enough, I went back to riding my good old TWH
> gelding to get my confidence back.  I started riding the Appy again, but
> remained very fearful of riding with her.  I was fine with Laddie, but not
> the Appy.  I eventually met and fell in love with Special and sold the Appy.
> Special really helped me get over my fears, I thought.  The few times I've
> been afraid on her, she seemed to sense it and slow down for me.  I've also
> started a three year old Arab under saddle without too much difficulty.
> However, apparently, I'm really not over my fears.
> 
> Remember that four year old filly I sold and then bought back because she was
> being starved?  I tried riding her last night.  She's had 60 days with a
> professional trainer, but I still had a lot of anxiety about riding her.
> She's a lot of horse and VERY quick.  [This is the horse that trotted for an
> hour half-starved without ever trying to quit.]  I mounted her a couple of
> times last night to see how she would do.  She stood like a rock.  However,
> the third time I mounted, she flung her head back just as I settled into the
> saddle, and cracked me hard in the mouth and nose.  My husband tried to grab
> the reins to give me time to recover and the filly ducked down and to the
> side and I went off.  The filly went down also.  I waited for us both to
> settle down and re-mounted and went up and down the driveway twice and got
> off.  Getting back on that horse was SO hard.  She's going to be a phenomenal
> horse but I just don't want to ride her.  She moves so fast and there's so
> little horse in front of me compared to Special (15.2 with a loooooong neck),
> that I kept feeling like I was going to come off of the front of her again.
> We do plan to sell this horse eventually, but Knightmare really needs more
> riding experience and I have to ride her because there's no one else to do
> it.  Please someone tell me how to get rid of this fear.
> 
> Rhonda
> 
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-- 
Richard T. "Jim" Holland                 Phone:  (706) 258-2830
LANCONN, Inc.                            FAX:    (706) 632-1271
Three Creeks Farm			 INTERNET:  lanconn@tds.net
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Blue Ridge, GA 30513