Etiquette for newcomers.

["Angela C. McGhee" <rides2far@juno.com>]

1.  If you have a horse that you can't hold back, make sure you have
permission from that person who has the "one horse that everybody knows
won't kick"...then try to be the first one to come screaming up on his
rear and plant your horse's nose at the base of his tail for the duration
of the first loop.


2.  It is O.K. to plaintively plea with your horse to take a drink, and
gently push down wistfully on his neck, but do not scream and threaten
him, it disturbs other riders who are plaintively pleading with their
horses.


3.  At the start of a race which is on single track trail, do not start
towards the front if your horse recently won a blue ribbon in a Western
Pleasure class.

4.  Always wait for the group you were riding with to finish drinking. 
Of course, by the time they do, another rider will show up, then you have
to decide whether it's rude to leave them...and then another shows
up...by the time there are at least 7 horses milling around being polite
and nobody remembers who got there first, it's acceptable to suggest that
you should give them some room, ask everyone's permission to leave, at
which all 5 will simultaneously follow you as you leave, and the one left
will post to Ridecamp that they couldn't believe how rude you all were. 

5.  If your horse is known to kick, be prepared so that you can beat him
soundly for the entertainment of the kickee.

6.  Stallion owners will be treated politely, unless they begin quoting
their horse's bloodlines, and trying to sell you a breeding even though
you own nothing but geldings, in which case any evasive tactics necessary
are justified.


7.  If you plan to loiter near the in gate of the P&R area, you are
required to carry a large armload of hay and share with everyone who
passes.  If your horse happens to kick someone because you blocked the in
gate, P&R personnel are to strangle you with the nearest stethoscope, and
the horse will be lead into the nearest woods and shot.

8. Show up at your first ride with your "hat in your hand".  Any newcomer
who comes to a ride with the idea of "showing us how it's done" will be
led into the nearest woods and shot.


9.  Don't brag about how little you rode your horse to get ready for this
race.  We can tell already.


10.  Don't tell us that you've "Never seen your horse tired".  You will
in an hour or so.

11. Be very careful about giving advice. Make sure your audience is a
willing one. ( Maybe they're cursed with a horse that likes to pace with
yours). Do you have enough endurance experience to contribute?  What
works in other disciplines may not crossover, and Ridecamp miles don't
count.  Maybe the reason nobody else adds anything is that they don't
want to encourage you.


12.  If you've hooked up with another rider and they suddenly decide
(after you've mounted) to "hang around camp a little longer".  Take a
hint.  They're sick of riding with you.  Get lost. (Took me forever to
figure out why everyone I rode with always needed extra time in the vet
checks!)


13. Never tell a Ford driver why Fords can't haul.  Or a Chevy driver or
a Dodge driver...or a stationwagon driver.


14.  Never accept soft drinks from rival crews during a ride.  They're
simply enjoying a little initiation ritual called:  "post, 3,2,1,
VOLCANO!!!

15. If you see a strange dog lurking near your camp it's O.K. to scream,
"SHOO!! SCAT!!! GET OUTA HERE!!!" and chase them with a stick.  The same
goes for strange children.

16.  Avoid mounting loudspeakers to the top of your rig and playing "Sons
of The Pioneers" in camp.  You're not at the wagon train any more.  While
you're at it, leave the insulated saddlebags in camp...trust me.


17.  If your AERC number has over 8 digits, say it meekly...out of
respect for Joe Long who gave himself the number "One".

18.  Never make comments like, "Does your horse feel a little uneven on
the left fore?"  Of course he does, they all do.  Shut-up and imagine
your own horse is lame.



25. If you are pulled on a ride, have the good graces to say 
thank you to the vet & ride management.  If you were REALLY tired, fake
being disappointed.  Sobbing, hugging the vet, and thanking him profusely
are bad form.


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