[RC] A guide for exercises to become a better equestrian. - dk22k
I thought you all might enjoy a giggle today. I think we
need to have T-shirts made up with #3's slogan.
Denise & Driffter
A guide for exercises to become a better equestrian.
10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't
pick it up right away. Shout, "Get off, Stupid, GET OFF!"
9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice
"relaxing into the fall." Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your
feet.
8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200
check without even looking down.
7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot.
Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing - they might as well
know now.
6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train
and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.
5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See Hon, moving hay
bales is FUN!" and "No, really, I'm glad your lucky performance and
multimillion dollar horse won. I am just thankful that
my hard work and actual ability won me second place."
4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with
both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead
rope of a frisky horse.
3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can
Be -- bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...
2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most
expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning
experience, this is a learning experience, this is ..."
1.THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER
EQUESTRIAN: Marry money.
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