I am not into forwarding stuff, but everyone has
been so serious lately....
I thought this was hillarious, if kinda racey at
the end.
Hope it lightens your day.
Subject: HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
I
love logic.
The
following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or
some variant.
One student, however, wrote the
following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of
these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is
expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is
it?
If
we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that,
"It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my
God."
