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[RC] How many Horse People Does it take to change a lightbulb?? (Cute) - V.J. Dern



How Many Horse people Does it Take to Change a  Lightbulb??
>
> WESTERN PLEASURE RIDERS: Oh, my God, someone fix that  bulb, I have to
> have
> light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best  and so that
> all
> the highlighter on Peanut makes his nose look so smooth and  sparkly and
> oh, my
> diamond studs have to flash in the light, you know, so oh,  someone has to
> fix
> it. Oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle,  obviously you
> can't
> ride, you can do it.
>
> ENDURANCE RIDER: Light bulb? Do  you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's
> pulse/respiration/hydration levels down  to respectable levels. Once that
> is done,
> I have another 50 miles to go before I  can even think about changing a
> light
> bulb.
>
> DRESSAGE QUEEN: Change a  light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly
> be
> expected to subject myself to  such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh,
> and
> wash your hands when you are  finished. The very thought!
>
> CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN: These things  cannot be rushed, but must be
> approached slowly, with great patience, and  adherence to the principles
> laid down by
> the classical masters, otherwise the  light bulb will not attain its true
> potential, but will forever just be a shadow  of its true self. Never,
> ever, use
> any type of gadget when changing the light  bulb. That is an offense to
> the
> principles of classical light bulb changing.
>
> EVENTERS: Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after
> falling
> off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross
> country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It'll put hair on
> your
> chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyway.
>
> SHOW JUMPER: Why on  Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the
> whole
> world knows that the  sun shines out of my butt. Why, when I release over
> a
> jump, the spectators are  practically blinded.
>
> HUNTER RIDER: Well, I'm waiting for my trainer to  tell me exactly how but
> he's changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.
>
> BACKYARD HORSEMAN: Do I have to do everything??!! Oh yeah, I do, don't  I?
> I'll get to it as soon as I'm done mucking stalls, cleaning and filling
> the
> troughs, cleaning and filling the water buckets, stacking my hay, setting
> up for
> night feeding, cleaning my tack, picking out manure from the paddock,
> brushing  and exercising the horses, and whatever else needs to be done.
>
> NATURAL  HORSEMAN: You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it
> sees you as the  Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" 
(video set
> available at $179.00 on  my Website). Once you have done this, you will
> find that
> there is really no need  to change the light bulb at all, but that the
> light bulb
> will, with very little  coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb
> coaxer")
> designed by me - $99.00  each, for extra $49.99 you get a introductory
> video
> thrown in) will behave as  all good light bulbs should.
>
> HOW MANY HORSES  DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
>
> THOROUGHBRED: Who ME?? Do  WHAT? I'm scared of light bulbs! I'm outta
> here!
>
> ARABIAN: Someone else  do it. It might get my silky mane dirty and
> besides,
> who's gonna read me the  instructions?
>
> QUARTER HORSE: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me  which one you want.
>
> STANDARDBRED: Oh for Pete's Sake, give me the ####  bulb and let's be done
> with it.
>
> SHETLAND: Give it to me. I'll kill it  and we won't have to worry about it
> anymore.
>
> FRIESIAN: I would, but I  can't see where I'm going from behind all this
> mane.
>
> BELGIAN: Put the  Shetland on my back, maybe he can reach it then.
>
> WARMBLOOD: Is the 2nd  Level Instruction Packet in English? Doesn't anyone
> realize that I was sold for  $75K as a yearling, but only because my hocks
> are
> bad, otherwise I would be  worth $100K? I am NOT changing lightbulbs. Make
> the
> TB get back here and do it.
>
> MORGAN: Me! Me! Me! Pleeease let me! I wanna do it! I'm gonna do it! I
> know
> how, really I do! Just watch! My parole officer said it's okay, really!
> And
> when we're done we can go over to the neighbor's and chase their cats!
>
> APPALOOSA: Ya'll are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the
> lightbulb, I ain't scared of the dark. And someone make that #### Morgan
> stop  jumping
> up and down before I double barrel him.
>
> PAINT: What color  lightbulb would you like?
 
   
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