Endurance.Net Ridecamp Archives

Please Reply to: Howard Bramhall howard9732@xxxxxxx or ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Dear Ginny:

Well, so far, the going rate is two Howard?s make one Ginny, so, if I 
understand that correctly (math has always been fuzzy to me), you?re either 
twice the woman I am, or, I?m half the man you are.  Welcome to the wonderful 
world of Ridecamp, where all the campers are nice and friendly and you will 
meet so many neat and marvelous folks, it really can change your life.  God 
blesses Ridecamp each and every day.  Unkind words are kept to a minimum and no 
one ever attacks another; love permeates our campsite constantly.

You would think that with all the Spring weather approaching and Global Warming 
keeping things less cold than in years past, that all of these incredible horse 
people here on Ridecamp would actually be out riding their horses and not be 
able to find the time they seem to have to criticize experts, such as yourself, 
or compare me, the eternal loser, with you, this week?s expert to be put out to 
pasture.

What?s really kinda funny is I no longer am allowed to post on Ridecamp, like a 
normal person, since my permanent expulsion (Mr. Teeter was instructed to 
remove me so deeply, permanently and intrusively that a re-connection would not 
be possible, ever, even during Christmas, Easter, or Hanukah, a time when one 
can get soft and relapse into forgiveness).  Because of this ?ban?, I really 
don?t say much of anything anymore.    The last story I wrote had nothing to do 
with endurance (or even limited distance riding) and was about my hillbilly 
experiences riding with two horse-loving adulterers I spent some time with up 
in Tennessee.  So, what?s the fuss about if I?m not writing anything on 
Ridecamp and you make one post about some amorous geldings?  I have no idea. 
Maybe, they miss me; or you.  If there?s no one around to pick on, heck, 
someone might actually turn the spotlight around to themselves. Then, where 
would Ridecamp be?

I used to write stories about my endurance riding; my failures (I truly sucked, 
not only as a writer, but, also, as a rider), trials, tribulations, that sort 
of thing.  Because Ridecamp has such a large audience, I even gained a fan or 
two.  One can find miracles in life in places one does not expect.  The problem 
was, some of my fans were, well, kinda crazy, like me, I guess.  Here?s a 
typical fan letter I used to get:

Dear haha Howard:

Man, you crack me up.  I just gotta meet you in person one day.  As soon as I 
get out of prison, that?s exactly just what I?m gonna do.  You?re a hoot.  And, 
heck, if they give me enough money when I get out, after bus fare and cab fare 
to your place (don?t worry, I already have your address), I?ll even buy you a 
beer.  Can?t wait; only 3 more months, and, as long as I don?t stab anybody 
between now and then (that would be a record, for me), it?s gonna happen real 
soon.

Your biggest fan,
Bubba ?Angel of Death? Sylvia (hey, can you mail me a picture of your wife and 
daughter?)
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So, Ginny, in closing, I just hope your geldings are doing well and not raping 
too many of your mares, and, well, it just might be better off not to offer 
your professional advice here on Ridecamp if you expect to be taken seriously.  
I?m not sure why, but, anyone who calls themselves an expert, here on Ridecamp, 
will be beaten and kicked and taken outside to be shaken (not stirred) severely 
until they come to realize that only those few riders, those who have done it 
all, seen it all, and lived it all (and were there from the beginning), are 
really allowed to talk about endurance and horses, and, even they are subject 
to crucifixion.  But, hey, it?s all in fun, no harm intended, and, if you can?t 
take it, you probably should not be out there attempting to ride a horse or be 
posting (on Ridecamp) cause only the really tough and serious are ?endurance? 
material.  Those others should not even bother.

cya,
Howard


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