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        I prescribe the following for uncomplicated rib fracture:
          
              Tincture of time.
               One rib belt.
               One belt of scotch.
               12 oz. of Corona, to be taken internally, every four 
hours. For medicinal purposes only. Keep out of reach of children.
                One very understanding wife to bring me the TV remote 
and fluff my pillow. (Be careful not to abuse her services. You'll pay 
dearly later.)
                One week on the beach. Continue dosages of Corona, even 
though you may be feeling better. It's always important to finish your 
medication.
      
               Daily walks with horse in hand may help with recovery of 
mental attitude. Symptoms of withdrawal from not riding may be lessened 
with judicious use of the mechanical horse at Safeway. Helmet should 
still be worn for safety, however.  
                        
                    Respectfully Submitted,  Dr. Quackenbush
                














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