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Hi Tamara
My husband Mark is in and out of the horses so far as riding, but he 
does most of the feeding, helps me with training (especially the babies) 
and mostly complains about the high cost of feed :-(
There was a time he went trail riding with me often and even showed 
Country English Pleasure (what a stretch) but that was many moons ago 
and we have suffered some hard financial times since then. I hope he 
will renew his interest in riding with me again some day--- right now it 
seems to be tennis and occasional golf. I have to say that to me, 
watching or playing golf is comparable to watching grass grow and I am 
not swift at tennis. Just as I decline watching football on Sundays, I 
do know I can't stuff riding down his throat and, although he complains 
and threatens to leave me if I adopt even one more 4 legged creature, he 
hasn't packed his bags yet and I catch him rubbing on Bunny (not to 
mention sleeping in the pasture two months with him) and 34 year old 
Durvish.
I believe when we recover from some of the setbacks we have had that he 
will again be relaxed enough to enjoy many of the things he used to--- 
riding being one of them. Many women I talk to say that their husbands 
fret about work and that takes away from their ability to enjoy the 
subtle things which require a relaxed attitude such as nature and 
animals. We fell in love with our husbands because of their good hearts 
and it may be that many have only so much to give and see animals more 
as a responsibility--- whereas we woman see them as a source of love and 
strength for us. We are the receptive ones, the gatherers...--- men are 
the hunters-- the procurers. And then there are men, such as many on 
this ridecamp (Truman, Frank, Tom... etc) who openly give themselves to 
the sport. These days, however, men seem to be in the minority (just 
look in the show ring and in training barns).
I guess what I am saying is that your husband may yet become involved at 
times and in his own way, as mine has. Even so, it may not be to the the 
extent you'd like (that is where I am frequently coming from). Yet in my 
heart I know if I push it, it will get worse and I have to accept 
whatever level Mark chooses to participate at (including driving 600 
miles to deliver and pickup a horse).
Sounds like you have a keeper husband. All the things you described 
sounds like he truly loves you and is in fact participating much with 
his support. There is only one thing left to do: perhaps wearing 
something from Victoria's Secret in the barn some evening????? :-)
Bette

Tamara Taylor wrote:
> Hello list,
>
> My husband and I were recently married (October) and we have been together for 
> 4 years. Life is grand. He's my best friend in the world and we have a lot of 
> fun together. The only thing is that he is as non-horsey as they come! I love 
> riding and spending hours at the barn. My husband does not! There are several 
> other couples at the barn where I board and they both come out and spend time 
> at the barn together even if one of them is non-horsey and is just learning to 
> ride. I am looking forward to travelling to rides and shows this summer but I 
> don't think he will enjoy it much. I hate to drag him along if he's not going 
> to love it too.
>
> He is supportive of my riding. He encourages me to go spend time with my horses 
> because he knows it makes me happy. He doesn't gripe about all the financial 
> costs. He even let my buy a new foal - my dream horse - last month despite our 
> very meager budget. The foal has arrived but he hasn't even been out to the 
> barn to see it yet. We own several dogs as well (my babies) and live in the 
> city. He knows that I don't like to leave them crated for long periods of time 
> so he works his schedule so that he can be home exercising the dogs while I 
> ride. He is very accomodating.
>
> Now I realize that it is important to have your separate things to do in a 
> relationship. But horses are a huge part of my life and I would like him to be 
> a part of that aspect of my life. I will have a great ride and be beaming or 
> just enjoying the company of a warm muzzle but I still feel like something is 
> missing because I can't share it with him. If I ask he will come to the barn 
> with me but I can tell how much it bores him so I don't bother asking anymore.
>
> Do any of you ever feel this way? What do you do to deal with it?
>
> Thanks,
>
> Tam
>
>
>
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--
Bette Lamore
Whispering Oaks Arabians
Home of 16.2h TLA Halynov
who lives on through his legacy
Hal's Riverdance!
http://www.arabiansporthorse.com

Always remember: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, 
but by the moments that take our breath away." (George Carlin)



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Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net.
Information, Policy, Disclaimer: http://www.endurance.net/Ridecamp
Subscribe/Unsubscribe http://www.endurance.net/ridecamp/logon.asp

Ride Long and Ride Safe!!

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