14 ways to sneak another horse home

[heidi sowards <ribbitttreefrog@yahoo.com>]

This was posted on another board..........

14. Move the fish to the cellar, the goats to the kitchen,
the uncle to the sofa and the dogs to the barn. Rotate
weekly. Add a horse to the mix on the 5th week. Stop the
rotation when the horse gets to the barn. Confused, but
grateful, family won't question further.

13. Tell your husband that 'Ed' is here to repair the
cable.

12. "This? This isn't a horse. This is a common
Black-Throated Northern Debt Precursor'.

11. Organize a clandestine Equine Underground pipeline.
COnnect to breeders and trainers in several states.

10. Throw a $100 bill behind the couch. Yell "Fetch!!"
While family members are fighting it out you can sneak
anything (up to and including a troop of Marines)up the
drive, past the house, and into the pasture.

9. Blame El Nino: The new horse washed in at high tide!

8. Wait for Halloween. Dress the new horse in a bad horse
costume and march him right into the barn.

7. Swear it's your best friend's new horse, come to stay
until she breaks the news to her husband. Meanwile she can
be saying the same thing to HER husband.

6. Start housing the kids out in the barn to explain your
long absences from the house and your frequent comings and
goings.

5. Have UPS deliver the horse in several separate boxes
over a period of several days.

4. Big Collar, license tags. Poodle trim. Insist on calling
the new mare AKC Fantasyland's Fifi Splendiphoria.

3. Sneak horse in at midnight. Return to house wearing only
a trench coat and skimpy negligee. Confess to the lesser
offense: having a torrid affair with the hay man

2. Don't buy another horse. Join the foreign exchange
program: you feed, house and culturally broaden the horizon
of a young foreign-born horse for 2 years. (Of course you
have to mail the neighbor's elderly shetland pony off to
Europe in exchange).

AND THE #1 WAY TO SNEAK A NEW HORSE HOME..

1. 'This horse isn't ours dear. He said he's on a scavenger
hunt and has to find 2 suckers with a checkbook'. 




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