[Fwd: CTR: DSM-EHI.1 by Doris and friends]

[Patrick Allen <jfhr@inetworld.net>]

Doris Woods wrote:

> Barb inspired me with her last post.
>
> DSM-EHI.1
> (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Equine-Human Interaction Version 1
> March, 1999)
> Produced by Doris Woods in collaboration with Buckster, Easter Basket,
> Nikkilah, Irish Arthur ... and others of suitable age and experience at
> Gentle Path Farm.
>
> E Q U I M A N I A
>
> Equimania:  A serious mental disorder in which occupation with equine and
> con junctive /supportive feline, canine, and caprines interferes with the
> ordinary tasks of daily living and significantly interferes with normal
> human social interaction,  An addictive component present such that patient
> congregates only with other equine-dependents and their aggregates.
>
> NO LESS THAN FOUR OF THE FOLLOWING SHALL BE PRESENT TO MAKE THIS DIAGNOSIS:
>
> 1. Noticeable deterioration of living quarters of human equine-dependent in
> conjunction with superior maintenance of living quarters of equines and
> their aggregates.
>
> 2. Grandiose component includes preoccupation with the extraordinariness of
> the patient's equine/s which flies in the face of reality.
>
> 3. Noticeable deterioration of the appearance of patient (personal
> grooming) in conjunction with horse grooming preoccupation. Potentially
> obsessive component. (Score 1-5 for level of obsessive component with 5
> being most extreme)
>
> 4. Manic deploy of charge card privileges in tack and feed stores within a
> 120 mile radius of home. ... and far beyond ordinary means. Sprees often
> followed by periods of depression and worry.
>
> 5.  Preoccupation with detail of hay prices, cutting seasons... and the
> prices of apples and carrots.
>
> 6. Neglect of personal health and dental care and scrupulous attention to
> veterinary care and teeth floating..
>
> 7. Maintenance of a growing number of equines and their aggregates either
> by breeding or irresistable purchase or both.
>
> NOTE: Talking baby talk to 1100 pound animals is not considered a part of
> the mental dis-ease picture.
>
> TREATMENT:
>
> OBTAIN an endless supply of small oblong pieces of green paper.  These are
> probably marked,:"In God We Trust"  because only God can really help the
> Equimaniac.  Apply liberally and watch them disappear.


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