Horse People

[Howard4567@aol.com]

Yea, we all fit into that group, one way or the other.  Right?  So, I've 
compiled a list of "labels" that nonhorse people put on us, along with gossip 
and complaints about our behavior.  First one comes from my Mom.

1)  They never come to see us anymore. Say they got to take care of their 
horses all the time and don't trust anyone else to watch them.

2)  Everytime I go to their house she's always wearing those smelly, stained, 
tight riding pants that kinda look like long johns.

3)  The knocker on their door is a horse's head.  Their house is furnished in 
a "western motif".  I swear if one of their horse's die these guys will have 
him stuffed and placed in the living room.

4)  They got pictures of Roy Rodgers and Dale Evans all over the place.  And 
some short blonde chick named Valerie Navy or something like that.

5)  When you walk into their house it smells and looks like the House of 
Bondage.  Leather straps, saddles, whips, collars, metal things to control 
the head.  These people are really kinky.

6)  She's always whining about the vet bills, farrier (what's that?) bills, 
feed bills, the high cost of tack.  But when I suggested she sell her horses 
and eliminate everything she looked at me like I just shot her Mom.  

7)  She lets her 5 year old run wild, riding bareback on this wild stallion 
all the time.  But when I asked if I could take her kid to the beach with my 
kids for the day she told me, "No, the beach is too dangerous for my Amy."

8)  Their Christmas Cards include pictures of all their horses with these 
cutesy statements from each nag at the bottom of the card.  We call them our 
"Mr. Ed" Christmas cards, since these guys seem to talk to you.

9)  We invited them to go camping with us last week.  When they showed up 
they bought 3 of their horses with them.  Damn things kept everyone up all 
night long, snorting and carrying on until the sun came up.

10)  They live in a two bedroom trailer with five kids, three dogs, and two 
cats.  But you go in the backyard and they have an immaculate 6 stall barn, 
each stall filled with a beautiful horse.  


Please add to the list.  I bet a few of you got some good ones.  How bout you 
April?

Howard



   


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