Re: The case of fear (personal & long)

[EAMULE@aol.com]

HI, Rebecca, 

Thanks for your note.  I, too, understand the P.T.S.  I think about a bucking
horse or even watch a rodeo on t.v. my hands and feet start sweating.  My back
will feel like it is trying to draw up.

I can handle a horse doing most anything.  It could climb a tree with me for
all I care, but if I think it might be thinking about thinking about bucking
then I am lost.

You are lucky.  You have someone to help you.  My husband is not into horses
at all.  He knows little to nothing about them and would be a hindrance.
There is no one at the barn where I board that rides.  (Weird, huh?)  I made
sure there was someone with me when I got on the mare Saturday.  She was my
next door neighbor and doesn't know horses, but she would know how to dial
911!

When I was riding regularly it was by myself or not at all.  I always told
someone or wrote on the barn blackboard which direction I went.  

I have ridden a couple of OLD horses that I had been assured were bombproof.
I learned to relax on them.  I had the opportunity to ride on the beach in San
Francisco a couple of years ago.  The poor old horse was ancient and tended to
stumble.  It was a thrill of a lifetime to ride by the Pacific ocean, but even
on this poor old rental horse I had trouble relaxing and enjoying myself.  

I have worked at this problem for almost 15 years.  There have been good
times, but that fear monster raises its head at the most unexpecting times.
During my short time doing LD's all was going great.  My mare loved the trails
and only got spooky when we came out of woods and into an open field.  I knew
this and was ready.  No big deal.  But then the anxiety started creeping back
in and the panic attacks.  The mare was super sensitive to me and we would
then feed off each other's nervousness.

Like I said in my original post my 23 y.o. mare is perfect.  I will ride her
bareback sitting backwards with out any misgivings.  I know what she will do 3
steps before she does it.  If she spooks she never runs, she might spin, but
usually she stands her ground.  If she was able I would do LD's on her.  (She
would have to lose 250 pounds first!)

Good luck on your trail ride.

Ellen