[RC] New Year's Resolutions for Endurance Horses (and mules too!) - Patricia Israelson
(Don't we wish...........! )
I
will NOT roll in streams or try to roll when my human is on my
back.
I will NOT leap over large
nonexistent obstacles when the whim strikes.
I will NOT walk faster on the
way home than I did on the way out.
I promise NOT to swish my tail
while my human is cleaning my back feet.
I promise also NOT to choose
that particular time to answer nature's call.
I will NOT bite my farrier's
butt just because it is there.
I will NOT confuse my human's
blond hair for really soft hay.
I will NOT wipe green slime down
the back of my human's white shirt.
I will NOT blow my nose on my
human.
I CAN walk and potty at the same
time. I can, I can, I can.
I will NOT stop and potty every
time I pass the same spot in the arena.
I will NOT leave when my rider
falls off.
My stall is NOT my litter box.
When I have free access to my paddock, I will NOT go back inside to
potty.
I will NOT try to mooch goodies
off every human within a 1 mile radius.
I will NOT lay totally flat out
in my stall with my eyes glazed over and my legs straight out and pretend I
can't hear my human frantically screaming "Are you asleep?"
I will NOT chase the ponies into
the electric fence to see if it is on.
I will promise NEVER to dump the
wheelbarrow of manure over while a human is mucking my stall.
I will NOT grab my lead rope in
my mouth and attempt to lead myself.
I will NOT have an attitude
problem. I won't, I won't, I won't!
I will NOT pull my new shoes off
the very next day just to prove that I can.
I am neither a beaver nor a
carpenter. I promise I won't eat or remodel the barn or the new
fences.
I WILL forgive my human for the
very bad haircut, even though I look like a freak.
I accept that not every carrot
is for me.
I will NOT do the Arab Teleport
Trick when a bad/naughty/awful Horsasaurus Monster breathes at
me.
I will NOT jump in the air and
turn 180 degrees every time I see a bicycle.
I will understand that bicycles
are NOT carnivorous.
I will NOT shy at familiar
objects just for fun.
I will NOT bite the butt of the
horse in front of me during the trail ride just to say "Hi".
I WILL put my ears forward and
cooperate when it comes to photos.
