Endurance.Net Ridecamp Archives

  Okay, hold it everybody!   Ever since my idle comment about building 
my perfect wife in the basement, I have been inundated with orders from 
several of you ladies out there to construct a "Perfect Man." The 
blueprints for such a creature do exist, but this is highly classified 
information, folks! I will need proper security clearance from each of 
you ladies, preferably delivered in a plain brown paper bag by courier 
in a lone parking lot in the dead of night. Once you clear security, I 
will need to know specifically which of the following options you will 
want installed in your new male unit:
                       1) Can say "Let's stop and ask for directions."
                       2) Can complete a "honey do" list in the proper 
allotted time.
                       3)  Can say "I apologize sincerely. Can you ever 
forgive me?"
                       4)  Rides horses.
                       5)  Crews happily.
                       6)  Will pay for your massages and visits to the 
chiropractor without complaint.
                       7)  Can pronounce Brighton, Louis Vuitton, and 
Yves Saint Laurent properly.
                       8)  "Whisper Mode" for otherwise noisy bodily 
functions
                       9)   Other (Please specify)______________________
                     
  Please send  $100,000 in U.S. currency to " Fer Sher Dude 
Productions"  Dr Quackenbush, Director of Manufacturing
                                                                     
Prescott, Arizona
         Caution:  Unit must undergo initial training for proper 
behavior. Comes complete with Positive Reinforcement Tool : Bag of dog 
biscuits
                                                                                                                                   
and Negative Reinforcement Tool:  Rolling Pin


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