From: wally anderson
[mailto:eyecatcher1@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] Sent: Monday, March 20, 2006 2:33
PM To: Jim Holland Subject: RE: FW: [RC] unsupportive
spouse/procreating
Mel,
I read your post and wanted to offer my
advice. You sound a lot like I once
was. I never had that maternal urge
of wanting to be a mother and wondered
what all the baby gushing was about too! I
would have much rather
gushed over a puppy! My parents has
pretty much given up on any grandchildren and were showing
their friends new pictures of the horses
and dogs!!! I was obsessed with my horse, every waking
moment . Every thing I read was horse
related! My husband was ready to have children
but I was too busy doing my thing and did
not want to miss out on any ride time.
I was loving the endurance rides and the
training rides. well...time marches on
and when I got in my late 30's, My thoughts
began to change and I started
thinking about the years to come and
realized that horses were not all that I
wanted in my life and part of me would be
empty if I did not have a child.
I had been talking to alot of people
and they all told me that
if I still wanted horses in my life bad
enough I would figure out a way to have
both! I Rode through my pregnancy and
was back riding asap. I must admit that I have a
wonderful
husband who helps out as much as he
can and
supports my horse habit even though he does
not ride. I must say your life does
change but for me it was all
good and I do not regret my decision, I love my little boy, he is
3 now. and I can not imagine my life with
out him!
I still get to ride about 2-3x a week
but not the all day moving out rides that I used to live for.
My horses are getting older now and are
basically retired from endurance, but I know
that I can still have endurance in my
future at some point, I am still have a lot of friends that
still compete. for now I ride just for
the shear love of being on the horse!!
My best advice is just follow what your
heart tells you, not what others tell you.
You have to have a child for the right
reasons not because you feel pressured.
You may resent the child if that happens.
That is why I waited a long time(we were
married 15 years!) I was ready to not be
selfish and give part of myself to another
life! I now have my own horse farm
and I get to see my horses everyday. My
dreams now are of riding in an
endurance ride with my little boy! You are still
young, you have plenty of time, enjoy your
horse and your life and the answers
