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Baxter Black is the author of this poem.

Charlene

--- Kristen A Fisher <kskf@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

> COWBOY POETRY - BUYING A BRA
>        I ain't much for shopping,
>        Or for goin' into town
>        Except at cattle-shipping time,
>        I ain't too easily found. 
>
>        But the day came when I had to go -
>        I left the kids with Ma.
>        But 'fore I left, she asked me,
>        "Would you pick me up a bra?"
>
>        So without thinkin' I said, "Sure,"
>        How tough could that job be?
>        An' I bent down and kissed her
>        An' said, "I'll be back by three."
>
>        Well, I done the things I needed,
>        But I started to regret
>        Ever offering to buy that thing -
>        I worked me up a sweat.
>
>        I walked into the ladies shop
>       My hat pulled over my eyes,
>       I didn't want to take a chance
>       On bein' recognized.
>
>        I walked up to the sales clerk -
>        I didn't hem or haw -
>        I told that lady right straight out,
>        "I'm here to buy a bra."
>
>        From behind I heard some snickers,
>        So I turned around to see
>        Every woman in that store
>        Was a'gawkin' right at me!
>
>       "What kind would you be looking for?
>        Well, I just scratched my head.
>        I'd only seen one kind before,
>        "Thought bras was bras," I said.
>
>        She gave me a disgusted look,
>        "Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
>        Follow me," I heard her say,
>        Like a dog, I tagged along.
>
>        She took me down this alley
>        Where bras was on display.
>        I thought my jaw would hit the floor
>        When I saw that lingerie.
>
>        They had all these different styles
>        That I'd never seen before
>        I thought I'd go plumb crazy
>        'fore I left that women's store.
>
>        They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
>        And bras that cross your heart.
>        There was bras that lift and separate,
>        And that was just the start.
>
>        They had bras that made you feel
>        Like you ain't wearing one at all,
>        And bras that you can train in
>        When you start off when you're small.
>
>        Well, I finally made my mind up -
>        Picked a black and lacy one -
>        I told the lady, "Bag it up,"
>        And figured I was done.
>
>        But then she asked me for the size
>        I didn't hesitate
>        I knew that measurement by heart,
>        "A six-and-seven-eighths."
>
>        "Six and seven eighths you say?
>        That really isn't right."
>        "Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive -
>        I measured them last night!"
>
>        I thought that she'd go into shock,
>        Musta took her by surprise
>        When I told her that my wife's bust
>        Was the same as my hat size.
>
>        "That's what I used to measure with,
>        I figured it was fair,
>        But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."
>        This drew another stare.
>
>        By now a crowd had gathered
>        And they all was crackin' up
>        When the lady asked to see my hat,
>        To measure for the cup.
>
>        When she finally had it figured,
>        I gave the gal her pay.
>        Then I turned to leave the store,
>        Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."
>
>        My wife had heard the story
>        'fore I ever made it home.
>        She'd talked to fifteen women
>        Who called her on the phone.
>
>        She was still a-laughin'
>        But by then I didn't care.
>        Now she don't ask and I don't shop
>        For women's underwear.
>        ~author  unknown~

Charlene  


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