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Re: [RC] [RC] 2002 Ridecamp Survivors - Howard Bramhall

Mike is King of Writing Humor for this. I could never come close to matching it. It's so hilarious.

cya,
Howard


From: "Tina Rushing" <tina@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To: "Tina Rushing" <tina@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "ridecamp" <ridecamp@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>,<steph@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: Re: [RC] 2002 Ridecamp Survivors Date: Fri, 19 Dec 2003 19:00:32 -0800

I was not expecting so much interest, so here it is:
(Thanks again to Mike for his great sense of humor!)

9/9/2002 paste from Ridecamp
From: Mike Sofen <msofen@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [RC] A summary of ridecamp this summer

"So what do you use to protect yourself when riding alone?"
"Why would anyone ride alone? "
"Horses are herd animals, they should never be ridden alone."
"I carry a Colt 45. I'm trained to use it. I'd like to use it on you."
"With your riding skills, you'll probably fall off your horse and shoot
yourself in the foot."
"You're an idiot. Anyone who carries a gun while riding should be
duct-taped to a tree and left for the vultures."
"Yeah, well, for that comment I'm going to sue you, your family, ridecamp
and everyone you know."
"Oh yeah? Well, my brother's an attorney and my uncle's an attorney and
they're going to sue you into the ground."
"Hey, this is a free country, I can say what I want."
"This is not a free country, and this is an email list, not a chat room."
"Would all of you shut up?"
"No, I won't shut up, you communist. I want to talk about sheath cleaning.
I have my vet do it, but I hate paying for it."
"I love doing it. I'll clean your horse's sheath."
"It's just like sex."
"So what is the big deal about cleaning a horse's sheath?"
"Sheath? What sheath? Is where the saddle sits?"
"Jeez you're a moron, the sheath is where they store their you-know-what so
that they can take it out and you-know-what."
"That is SO gross, I can't believe you even brought it up."
"Were you born in the 1400's? This is like, so puritanical."
"You mean putrid. There's no way I'm touching that thing. And everyone
says it smells really bad. You have to wear gloves and still end up washing
your hands over and over."
"You're an idiot. Just go out there and clean it."
"Yeah, well, for that comment I'm going to sue you, your family, ridecamp
and everyone you know."
"Oh Pahleeezzz. Maybe you should just take your gun and kill your horse -
that way you won't have to deal with it."
"I'd rather kill you. And besides, too many horses die in endurance
already."
"Like there's any comparison to racing?"
"You're an idiot. Anyone who doesn't think endurance isn't dangerous is an
idiot. In fact, everyone on this list is an idiot - that's why I've
infected the site with the klez virus."
"Endurance isn't dangerous, endurance riders are dangerous."
"Do you even have a horse?"
"OH MY GOD. I just found white hairs under my saddle."
"You're an idiot - those are from the gray horse you ride on alternate
days."
"No, seriously, I'm scared that my saddle doesn't fit anymore, and I paid
$4,000 for a custom saddle and it's supposed to fit, right?"
"You're an idiot - NO saddles ever fit."
"I have a saddle that fits."
"How do you KNOW?"
"I don't see any white hairs."
"What color is your horse?"
"White."
"Is everyone on this list an idiot?"
"No, just you for reacting to everything."
"I'm going to sue you into the ground, and call the FCC and the PTA."
"You are the weakest link."
"So how far should I ride if I'm training for a long endurance ride - you
know, 25 miles. That seems like an awful far way to ride."
"You're an idiot - 25 miles isn't far and isn't endurance - it's called
LIMITED DISTANCE, or LD."
"I ride 6 times a week, 20 miles a day. I'm in training for my first LD -
am I getting enough mileage in?"
"That depends - what color are his feet?"
"One is white, the rest are black."
"You're going to kill your horse, that's for certain. A white foot is the
kiss of death."
"Only if the horse is short."
"Yeah, but you're riding a tall horse."
"I'm 6'5" - you want me to ride a donkey? I'd look ridiculous."
"You're an idiot, AND you'd look ridiculous no matter what you ride."
"You sound like you've been smoking carbos again."
"You don't SMOKE carbos, you EAT them."
"I give up."
"me too."
"me too."
"me too."

Mike Sofen
Santa Cruz, CA
(thank you and have a nice Winter)


----- Original Message -----
From: "Steph Teeter" <steph@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "Tina Rushing" <tina@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 9:47 PM
Subject: RE: [RC] 2002 Ridecamp Survivors


 Might as well send it to all!
Steph

 -----Original Message-----
From: ridecamp-owner@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ridecamp-owner@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of Tina Rushing
Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 8:15 PM
To: ridecamp
Subject: [RC] 2002 Ridecamp Survivors

 If you survived the listserve in the summer of 2002 and are feeling
frustrated now, then you need to re-read
Mike Sofen's "Summary of Ridecamp This Summer" (2002).  It's still
hilarious.  E-mail privately tina@xxxxxxxxxxxxx and I'll send you a copy.
I'd bet the rent it will cheer you right up.

Tina Rushing
El Granada, CA
(if things degenerate further we will have material for a sequel)


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