[RC] Cain't help my genes! Just a story. - oddfarm
I love Jeff Foxworthy. Just saw him on TV and he is
hysterical. The sad part for me is that he very often describes my
family.
I am very proud to come from a long line of
hillbillies. My dad's people grew up in the hills of West Virginia and my mom's
people hail from the Carolina's, mostly South Carolina.
A few years ago we went to my grandma's birthday in
South Carolina and John said he feared for our kids gene pool. I tell ya, we saw
some of the kin folk at the hotel, (there was about 12 in one room) and we got
skeered!
Jeff describes rednecks in so many funny ways. He
said all rednecks liked shiny things. My cousins have those shiny, sparkly
fishing boats just big enough for 2 guys and 2 cases of beer.
When we went looking for a new trailer, I never
dreamed I would get the one I have. I knew what I wanted, I just didn't know it
had to be so damn big. Or shiny. It is 34 feet of shiny aluminum. We have taken
a few trips with the whole family, including the 2 cats, a dog and of course the
horses. When we set grandma Wendy and her little mutt out front, we look just
like the Clampits.
Now John's family has a lot of English pedigrees
but some how the hillbilly gene came out in him. First of all, he works at a
scrap yard and finds many "treasures" to bring home. At one time the treasures
were shiny, and he has visions of making them shiny once again.
We had a flat bed trailer that we hauled our
tractor on. It got tore up so he decided to fix it. So what does he use to cover
all the wood floor with?? Shiny diamond plate. Holy crap, we can send signals to
Mars off that thing. If you look at it at high noon, it will burn your eyes out.
But if you turn away and look in the wrong direction at my trailer, you will be
seeing spots for the rest of the day.
Jeff also says you can tell a redneck by the things
they have in their front yard. Where do I begin??
We had a dump truck drop off about 10 loads of dirt
from a yard where they were putting in a pool. We didn't use it all so now we
have our own little mountain range where we can run up and sing the Sound of
Music. We have two box blades that John had to hook a chain to and then wrap the
chain around a tree to pull them out of the bed of his truck. Now we can get
them back in. We have the diamond plate trailer, the shiny aluminum trailer, the
dull aluminum trailer and a Lance camper. We have the tractor with the bush hog
but our place hasn't been mowed in over 6 months. It gives the cats and dogs
places to hide when it is time to go to the vet. It also hides the rest of the
crap in the yard.
Then, the most prized possession of all is..... the
black truck.
It is a 1972 Chevy Cheyenne. John has to wear
goggles when he drives it because the rust coming off the roof gets in his eyes.
Also, just in case the roof does come off, the wind won't blow the goggles off.
He can't put his feet on the floor as it is rusted out, but the brake and gas
pedals are still hanging on. He has a shiny new black door he can't wait to put
on. Why? I don't know. It is just the hillbilly gene I guess.
