Endurance.Net Ridecamp Archives

Tamara

Everything everybody said, is quite right, from the way to encourage your 
husband, to NOT encouraging him, to the technical stuff.  My husband is 
something of everything mentioned.

He'll watch jumping on TV and ask technical questions (I'll try my best to 
sound as if I know what I'm talking about ;-)) ), he's a super groom, he plans 
his golf season around my calendar (I give him off to play in the club Champs, 
only fair), he does all the technical stuff to the trailer and other camping 
stuff - he's a gadget nut, he'll ask about the horses every night I come home 
and will pay for much needed shelters, BUT ......

He'll try very hard not to actually spend time at the horses outside of 
grooming at rides.  I beg him to come see how nicely his youngest "son" is 
growing up - ALL the horses "belong" to him.  Every time I get another horse, 
he goes through the whole "Are you sure you really NEED another horse?" at 
which point I tell him about all the good things about having a youngster that 
will take another three years before I can even ride it!  He refuses to 
acknowledge the "half breeds" - if it's not pure Arab, he's not interested .... 
talk about being a snob!

He's totally supportive of my sport but despairs every time I injure myself and 
will take the opportunity to lecture me on how all my injuries will catch up 
with me when I'm older and don't I think it's a good time to stop doing what 
I'm doing? (I'm a few months short of 40!!!)  I'll then remind him about BE 
(before endurance) when I was an overweight couch potato with very little 
interest outside of the TV.  That normally keeps him quiet for a few weeks!  
I'm not even talking about major injuries - the other day I twisted my knee - 
not even remotely close to the horses - and I still haven't heard the end of it.

I never asked him to be my groom - my first few rides were on my own but after 
packing for another ride and "really battling to lift those heavy boxes filled 
to the brim with sponges" (I'm SUCH a girl ;-)) ), he decided that it would be 
better if he came to help.

So, where I would also like him to share some of the wonderful trails or that 
special quiet time at the end of the day, when the horses are munching on their 
hay, the sun is just setting, a horse hug, warm breath in your neck 
.............. I understand that it is not what gets his juices flowing and 
he's quite content to have me all relaxed when I get home, not stressed from 
the day's upsets.

So, try and find a balance of how far he wants to go and then leave it at that. 
Don't force him into anything but do involve him in the "manly" stuff - 
putting hooks in the trailer, organising anchor points for straps (you never 
know when you're going to need them, you know).

Hope this rambling helped a bit!
Kristene


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