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Top Ten Ways To Abuse LDers
1) Don't give them a finish line. Only true endurance riders
have a finish line; the LDer is not worthy of such a thing. And, make sure
they know this.
2) At the vet checks, make sure you allow 50 milers and 100 milers to
pass all LDers in line. At a crowded ride with this rule an LDer can spend
an eternity waiting to see a vet. And, the completion, well, you might as
well just forget about the completion. We will get to you after we've seen
everyone else.
3) When you have your new rider's meeting make sure that you only
talk about the LD ride, because, as we all know, only beginners ride in the
LD.
4) Make the completion rule so confusing that the head vet doesn't
even understand it. As he tries to explain the difference between the 64
pulse mid way, but, hey, don't forget you need to get to 60 to finish an LD
ride, and yes, this is the only place where you will have to have a 60, so,
try not to get confused, you don't have a finish line, take the tack off,
and, since there is no finish line you won't know when you're really
finished so, just think of it as you're not done till I say you're
done. Any questions?
5) Put letters on their horse's butts instead of numbers. You
use numbers for the 50 milers and numbers for the hundred milers, because
they're true endurance riders, but since we've decided to treat LDers like grade
school kids, let's have them practice their ABC's, just for fun.
6) Let's charge them double, per mile, what we charge the 50 milers
and the 100 milers. These folks are desperate, they won't notice much and
they're lucky we even allow them to enter our endurance arena at all. So,
pay up, shut up, and get to the back of the line.
7) Make sure you get to hear all the gossip about how poorly an
LDer's horse behaved at the start. Generalizations about their riding
ability and their horses are just wonderful tidbits of conversation to make the
true endurance rider feel superior to the LD rider. After a week-end of
hearing all this crap the LDer has little choice but to want to think better of
themselves and their horse and do a 50 miler next time.
8) Make the experience so bad you start thinking that Competitive
Trail, with the judges and extra rules didn't seem all that bad after all.
So, back to CTR you go, wondering why endurance is so popular.
9) Don't allow the LDer to volunteer anywhere after they're done
their ride cause, since they're not really clear on endurance rules anyway
(we've made sure of that), we don't want them to get confused and muck
things up for the real endurance riders.
10) Just kind of skip over the LDers at the awards banquet.
They all race way too fast and don't deserve anything anyway. Save the
best awards for the true endurance riders. AND, let's make sure not to
really count their horse's mileage as endurance miles. Those LD miles
don't really count.
You really think we don't walk all over the LD rider in this sport?
Take off your blinders; we do, and it's time for a change.
MERRY CHRISTMAS YA'LL, ESPECIALLY YOU, THE LD RIDER, WHO PUTS UP
WITH MORE CRAP DURING AN ENDURANCE WEEK-END THAN I DO OVER A SIX MONTH
PERIOD HERE ON RIDECAMP. AS YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED, THAT'S A LOT OF
CRAP.
cya,
Howard
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