Re: giving advice nicely

["Annie George" <ageorge@vtc.net>]

 

 Hello Kelly, the sad fat is that allot  horse owners  are rather snobbish about thinking they know it all. And it seems like the ones who know the least are have the biggest egos, and are the least receptive.  I just think it is best to not bother trying to offer advice, because they really don't want it.  Unless they specifically ask you. If I see  someone doing something , especially a child, that is obviously going to get them hurt at that moment, I will say something, but otherwise I just don't. It is hard to turn a blind eye sometimes, you can't believe the things I see people doing with saddles and tack, it drives me crazy!  I wonder sometimes how  they ever get down the trail.   But you just have to developed a thicker skin. By your example of not having the kinds of problems with your horse that they have, hopefully they will notice, and ask you for help.  Human nature is such that unsolicited advice is usually not appreciated no matter how  rite it is or how well meaning you are. Annie G.

 Anne George Saddlery   www.vtc.net/~ageorge  

----- Original Message -----

From: Kelly

To: ridecamp@endurance.net

Sent: Saturday, January 05, 2002 8:19 PM

Subject: RC: giving advice nicely

This is not exactly endurance related, but
everyone here seems to be really good at giving
advice.. so I thought it was worth a shot. There
are lots of younger kids at the barn I board at
that do things wrong, or don't know some things I
think are pretty important to know. I've tried
before to give advice to people, one example- a
family had 4 horses, and  all their halters fit
wrong.. they got mad at me for trying to help
them.. ergh. And they wonder why they loose their
halters all the time. I thought I was nice about
it too. I just told them I thought maybe if they
adjusted their halters some, they might stay on
the horses longer, and that I would show them
how. They thought I thought they were stupid or
something.. this has happened before.. what's a
good way to approach someone without sounding
like a "know-it-all" .. because I know no one
could ever know everything, but I seem to be the
only one there that reads books.. I learn lots
from this list too, and would like to help the
people out there, but dont want to seem rude..

the most recent thing is a girl who just bought a
HUGE blanket for her 14 hand arab mare.. but
somehow managed to get it on incredibly tight so
it wraps almost all the way under her stomach and
squeezes like a girth. I'm sure it's very
uncomfortable for the horse.. she's not the
nicest person though, but I feel bad for her
horse.. what would be a good way to "suggest"
something to her? or just to start out giving
someone advice?
thanks
kelly

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