Subject: Horse v. 1.0 
Dear Tech Support: 
Recently I 
  purchased and installed Horse 1.0. Immediately, I 
noticed that this 
  program has numerous glitches. For instance, 
every time my computer boots 
  up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and 
Water 7.1. Many times I've been in the 
  middle of writing an 
important document, and a window will flash telling 
  me to 
run Clean Stall 2.0. This program also contained applications 
I 
  did not wish to install, such as Manure 8.5; however they 
auto-installed 
  with Horse 1.0. 
Applications such as Vacation 2.7 and Free Time 10.1 
  can no longer 
run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that 
  Horse 1.0 
has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS 
  Money, 
with folders added such as "Monthly Shoeing" and "Winter Blanket". 
  
Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me to send a check to the 
  
manufacturer of Horse 1.0 for the aforementioned items. 
I have 
  tried to uninstall Horse 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to 
run the 
  uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a 
deadly virus 
  known as "Withdrawal" will infect my system. Please 
Help!!!!! 
THE 
  REPLY: 
Dear User, 
Your complaint is not unusual. A common 
  misconception among 
users is that Horse 1.0 is a mere "utilities and 
  entertainment 
program." 
It is not-- it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is 
  designed by its creator 
to run everything! A warning will soon be 
  imprinted on the box.   
Since 
you have already installed 
  Horse 1.0, here are a few tips on how to 
make 
it run better. 
If 
  you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 and 
Water 7.1, you may run 
  C:\HIRE HELP; however, this will cause another 
folder to be added to 
  financial applications, labeled "Staff". 
Failure to 
send payment 
  to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Water 
7.1 being run again on 
  startup. 
A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several 
  days 
isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. You will find 
  
that when you boot up your computer again a nasty virus 
called "Colic 
  4.2" will have attached itself to important documents 
and the only way to 
  rid your computer of Colic 4.2 is by purchasing 
and installing extremely 
  expensive, but crucial, "Vet 10.1". 
Otherwise, 
Colic 4.2 will cause 
  irreversible damage to the operating system. 
Finally, it is important that 
  you run C:\Carrots and C:\Scratch Ears 
on a fairly regular basis to keep 
  the application running smoothly. 
If you have any more questions, please 
  call our toll free number. 
Sincerely, 
Tech Support 
  
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