RE: Horse V 1.0 enjoy

["Patrick Allen" <jfhrome@home.com>]

Subject: Horse v. 1.0 

Dear Tech Support: 

Recently I purchased and installed Horse 1.0. Immediately, I 
noticed that this program has numerous glitches. For instance, 
every time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and 
Water 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an 
important document, and a window will flash telling me to 
run Clean Stall 2.0. This program also contained applications 
I did not wish to install, such as Manure 8.5; however they 
auto-installed with Horse 1.0. 

Applications such as Vacation 2.7 and Free Time 10.1 can no longer 
run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Horse 1.0 
has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, 
with folders added such as "Monthly Shoeing" and "Winter Blanket". 
Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me to send a check to the 
manufacturer of Horse 1.0 for the aforementioned items. 

I have tried to uninstall Horse 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to 
run the uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a 
deadly virus known as "Withdrawal" will infect my system. Please 
Help!!!!! 

THE REPLY: 

Dear User, 
Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among 
users is that Horse 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment 
program." 
It is not-- it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator 
to run everything! A warning will soon be imprinted on the box.   
Since 
you have already installed Horse 1.0, here are a few tips on how to 
make 
it run better. 
If you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 and 
Water 7.1, you may run C:\HIRE HELP; however, this will cause another 
folder to be added to financial applications, labeled "Staff". 
Failure to 

send payment to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Water 
7.1 being run again on startup. 

A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days 
isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. You will find 
that when you boot up your computer again a nasty virus 
called "Colic 4.2" will have attached itself to important documents 
and the only way to rid your computer of Colic 4.2 is by purchasing 
and installing extremely expensive, but crucial, "Vet 10.1". 
Otherwise, 
Colic 4.2 will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. 
Finally, it is important that you run C:\Carrots and C:\Scratch Ears 
on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. 
If you have any more questions, please call our toll free number. 

Sincerely, 
Tech Support