Fw: Way too Funny!

["spencer" <spencer@inu.net>]

Quotes from actual Federal Employee performance evaluations:


"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiousity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't
be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever
foot
was previously in there."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to acheive
them."

"This employee should go far-- and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking."

"A room temperature I.Q."

"Got a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
together."

"A gross ignoramus - - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"Bright as Alaska in December."

"One-celled organisms out-score him in I.Q. tests."

"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

"Fell out of his family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."







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