Couldn't Help Myself

[Wayne/Elaine Delbeke <delbekew@sprynet.com>]

Sorry Guys, I can't think of any endurance related trivia to go with
this.  But there's been so much male/female and hunting stuff around, I
couldn't resist.

elaine


SANTA CLAUS IS A WOMAN

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's  a she.

Think about it.  Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy,  nurturing,

social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull
it
all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about  selecting

gifts until Christmas Eve.  Once at the mall, they always seem surprised
to
find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the

shelves.  On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.

Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would  wake up
Christmas
morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the

bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there.  First of all,
there
would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped
on
to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that
buck
season had been extended.  Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to

the
taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation

problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and
clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

-Men can't pack a bag.

-Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

-Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen
with
all those elves.

 -Men don't answer their mail.

-Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest,
as
anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."

 -Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.

-Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability
to
pick up women.

-Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men:

Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.  Definite

guy.

Cupid flies around carrying weapons.

Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosteronescreening test.

But not St. Nick.



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