How to Advertise a Horse

["Karen J. Zelinsky" <kjz2@juno.com>]

  BIG TROT: Can't canter within a two mile straightaway
            NICELY STARTED: lunges, but we don't
            have enough insurance to ride him yet

            TOP SHOW HORSE: won a reserve champion
            5 years ago at a show with unusually
            low entries due to tornado warnings

            HOME BRED: knows nothing despite being
            raised on the back porch

            BIG BONED: good thing he has a mane and tail,
            or he would be mistaken for a cow

            NO VICES: especially when he wears his muzzle

            BOLD: runaway

            GOOD MOVER: runaway

            ATHLETIC: runaway

            NEEDS INTERMEDIATE RIDER: runaway

            SHOULD MATURE 14 HANDS: currently 12 hands,
            dam is 12.2, sire is 12.3 hands, every horse in
            pedigree back 18 generations is under 12 hands, but *this*
            horse will defy his DNA and grow

            WELL MANNERED: hasn't stepped on, run over,
            bit, or kicked anyone for a week

            PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED: hasn't stepped on,
            run over, bit, or kicked anyone for a month

            RECENTLY VETTED: someone else found something
            really wrong with this horse
Hey Guys!  I like this one - from an endurance/ridecamper friend, Joe
Dobiss in PA....

            TO GOOD HOME ONLY: not really for sale unless you can
            1) pay twice what he is worth
            2) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document
           allow current owner to tuck in beddy-bye every
            night

            EXCELLENT DISPOSITION: never been out of the stall

            CLIPS, HAULS, LOADS: clippity clippity is the sound
            his hooves make as he hauls butt across he parking
            lot when you try to load him.

            for sale due to lack of time...rider cannot afford to spend =
	anymore time in hospital

            quiet...dead(almost) spirited...psychotic well bred...mother
=
and father are also brother and sister! black....brown and or dirty any
vet check welcome.....please pay for us to find out what the !@#$ is
wrong with him! suit eventing.....no brakes suit dressage.....no
accelarator suit anyone.......except us,we hate him!

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