LEEVALLONE@aol.com: Additions to You Know You are a Horseperson

[krisolko@juno.com (Kristen L Olko)]

You Know You're a Horse Person When.....

You pull a $17,000 horse trailer with a $1,700 pickup truck. 
You're seriously considering an even trade of your 1998 Buick for a 1986
Diesel crewcab dually pickup truck.

You dress like a lawyer on weekdays and someone who needs a lawyer on
your
days off. 

You plan your pregnancy around the show season so you can send your horse
to the trainer during the eighth and ninth months. 

You buy duct tape by the case, and carry rolls in your pocketbook, your
briefcase, and the console of your car. 

You realize that finding a horse shoe truly is lucky because you've saved
ten bucks.

You have saved five old left mud boots "just in case" and another right
one
has sprung a leak. 

You would rather ride a good horse than a good man/woman. 

You'll drive an hour in a snowstorm to ride your horse, but God forbid
you
have to drive 5 minutes to the store to buy groceries.

When your six year old tells everyone that he's going to be the "ring
steward" at your aunt's wedding!

Your friends no longer ask to get together with you on a weekend
afternoon
because they know you'll say -- "I can't, I have to ride." 

You consider a pristine golf course as a waste of good pasture land. 
Every time you drive past a road construction sight you think what nice
jumps the barricades would make. 

After arriving at the barn and finding the indoor being watered, you go
ahead and ride in it anyway. What's a little indoor "rain"?

Your horse gets new shoes more often than you.

Your boyfriend/husband complains that you love your horse more then you
love him and you answer: "And your point is?"

Your boyfriend/husband does something nice for you and you say "good boy"
and pat him on the neck. 

Your trying to get passed someone in a crowded hallway and instead of
saying "excuse me" to him/her, you cluck at them instead.

You meet a business associate for a breakfast meeting and they reach over
the breakfast table to pick alfalfa out of your hair. 

No one wants to ride in your car because they'll get sweet feed and hay
all
over their clothes...But hey, that's OK!! You'd have to rearrange all the
tack to make room for them anyway! 

You are totally grossed out by human hair in the sink or tub, but don't
mind horse hair in your washer, on your clothes, in your food... 

You don't mind throwing the frozen manure balls for the barn dog to
fetch! 

Your first stop in the office is the ladies room to remove the shavings
from your shoes. 

The non-horsy guy you just started dating gives you a funny look after
glancing into the back seat of your car, and you realize he's noticed
your
whips and spurs. 

Your kids run through the house and you tell them to whoa.

You Know You're a Horse Person When.....Part 2

Your car trunk acts as an auxiliary tack box.

You see the vet more than you see your child's pediatrician. 

The doctor says the bump on your finger is an inflamed tendon sheath, and
you tell him, "Oh, you mean a windpuff." 

You cannot imagine why anyone would think it kinky to own whips. 

You yell at the kids, and the horse's name pops out. 

On rainy days, you organize the tack room, not the house. 

Books and movies are ruined for you if horsemanship references are
incorrect. 

You actually get to a point where flies don't bother you so much. 

You've considered moving into the barn, since it is cleaner than the
house.

Your horse seems the right choice when you need to talk something out
with
someone. 

You often sneak furtively into laundromats and pretend that you really
didn't just put that stinky, filthy horse blanket into the
comforter-sized
machine. 

You plan corn on the cob for dinner just so you can feed the cobs to your
horses for a treat.

You have more pictures of your horses in your office than you have of
your
family.
You can find your boots in the dark by the aroma. 

You drive up in the yard, get out of the car and inhale the perfume of
the
manure pile. 

You talk to the horses like they were kids. 

The only picture you have of your husband just happens to have been taken
the one (and only) time you let him ride your horse.

You hate posing for pictures unless you're on your horse. 

You chirp, cluck or kiss to your truck/car. 

You don't notice the barn smells on your clothes/shoes and wonder why
"regular" folks are sniffing the air when you walk up.

Most of your social life is with other horse folk. 

You known more about equine nutrition than human nutrition. Just ask your
kids.

All your clothes have horsehair on them, even if they've never been worn
to
the barn.

You choose which clothes to buy on the basis of whether or not you can
wash
horse slobber/manure out of them. 

You get out of your warm bed at 3:00 AM, and go outside to bring the
horses
in because it's raining. If that's not enough, you even dry them off a
little, before going back to bed.

You giggle when your braiding your horse's tail and he/she farts in your
face.

You get your income tax refund and the first thing you do is head for the
tack shop. 

Every time you go to the stable, it takes 3 hours and you can't imagine
where the time went. 

Your car is the only one in the company parking lot that has an inch of
dust INSIDE and when you open the door, a swarm of flies emerge. 

The first bills you pay each month are all horse related. You don't
really
*need* a phone anyway (unless you have to call the vet -- oops, better
pay
that one). 

You choose your new dog by which breed is best with horses.

You always have new foal pictures in your wallet.


--------- End forwarded message ----------

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