Need Advice on Situation (long)

["Craig W. Hadley" <cwhadley@giarctechnologies.com>]

Hi,

I am involved in a rather sticky situation and would like some advice on how to

handle this.

I am getting ready to ride my first 50 in two weeks and have spent the past year

getting ready and training/conditioning.  Apparently, I have been a little too vocal

in expressing how much fun I was having.

An aquaintance/friend called Sunday morning before I left for a "training" ride and

invited herself along.  I repeatedly informed her that this was a training ride and that

those of us going were planning on trotting and loping most of the ride.  She was

quite sure that she was ready for this and would not be in the way, so on and such

forth. 

Well, the first mile of the ride was fine.  We had just walked and warmed up.  Then

we decided to start trotting and because she was the newest person along, we put

her in the middle of the line.  This worked until we were about 5 miles from the

trailer.  At this point she decided that her horse was being a brat and proceded to

yank on the reins, kick the horse with her spurs, and yell obscenities at it.  We were

all so surprised, that we stopped and waited until this outburst was over. 

From this point on, things went downhill quickly.  She insisted that she was OK, that

the horse was just being stubborn and we should continue.  ( Which we did at a walk)  Every two or

three minutes this temper tantrum of yelling and hitting was repreated. We tried to

calm her down-we walked the horses-we let her go in front-etc. etc. At this point, we

just were trying to get back to the trailer to go home and end this terrible day.  Then we came to a

SMALL, SLIGHTLY sloping part of the trail that has rocks on it.  When her horse started to go

 down this area, one of

her rear hooves slipped on a rock and this person jumped off the horse, and began

to kick her in the belly, and hit her with the reins.  The mare backed up right into me

so fast I didn't have time to move and kicked my horse in the chest.  This ride was

definately falling apart!

Well, finally, we all got settled down and we walked back to where the trail forked.

We informed her that the trailer was to the left and that we were going to the right and

would meet her back at the trailer.  This was agreeable to everyone and the rest of

the ride was OK.  When we arrived back at the trailer, she was there.  She obviously

has a very selective memory because the ride home was filled with her talking about

how wonderful her horse is and how she would really like to go again.

Of course, everyone that I usually ride with is shocked/appalled and although we

don't want to be rude-no one wants to ride or associate with this person. 

This woman is the type that has already done/tried everything and of course has

done it better than anyone else.  She calls me 3-4 times a week to tell me how wonderful

she and her horse are.  I try to be nice and make conversation, but over the last six

months, it is becoming harder. 

Any advice on how to not ever have her ride with us again without us looking like

rude/ignorant people?  Should I just be blunt and tell her that we feel her behavior is

not appropriate and that she is not welcome without a major change?  I am SURE that

with this woman's selective memory, I will become the person in the wrong here.

I guess I am just a wimp and would like everyone to behave and get along and etc.

I know-the perfect world :)

Thanks for listening,

Carrie

and Poco (yes I'm fine-the kick didn't hurt me)

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