Re: PULP FICTION??

["Susan Evans Garlinghouse" <suendavid@worldnet.att.net>]

Actually, that's mine.  Somewhere along the way, someone's deleted my name
as author.  If anyone's going to further forward it, I'd appreciate it if my
name were re-attached.  Thanks. :-)

Susan Garlinghouse
-----Original Message-----
From: Karen J. Zelinsky <kjz2@juno.com>
To: ridecamp@endurance.net <ridecamp@endurance.net>
Date: Thursday, March 18, 1999 9:00 AM
Subject: RC: PULP FICTION??


>Someone sent this to me and I thought it cute enough to pass along.\
>Enjoy!
>
> ><< Well here's a Beet Pulp story for you.
> >
> > Well, I knew there had to be a downside to beep pulp, and thought it
> > only fair that I pass it on...This afternoon I decided to bring some
>beet
> > pulp pellets into the house to soak, because I wanted to get an idea
>of
> the %
> > volume they expanded during soaking. Researchers are like that,
> pathetically
> >easy
> > to amuse and desperately in need of professional help. So I trundled
>in a
> >bucket, about three pounds of beet pulp, added in the water and set it
>in
> the
> >living room to do its thing. No problem. Science in the making.
> >
> > Well, one thing I don't think I've mentioned before is that in my
>ongoing
> >Quest to turn this house into Noah's Ark, we have not only four
>horses, two
> >dogs, three house cats plus Squeaky the barn cat, a  sulfur-crested
> cockatoo,
> >a cockatiel and assorted toads, we also have William, a fox squirrel
>who
> >absent-mindedly fell out of his tree as a baby a year or so ago, and
>got
> >handed off by my vet to the only person he knew
> > silly enough to traipse around with a baby squirrel and a bottle of
> Esbilac
> >in her bookbag. Being no dummy, William knew a sucker when he saw one
>and
> has
> >happily been an Urban Squirrel ever since.
> >
> > And for those of you that think A Squirrel's Place is In The Wild,
>don't
> >think we didn't try that...last year at Christmas, we thought we'd
>give him
> >his first lesson in Being a Wild Squirrel by letting him play in the
> >undecorated Christmas tree, and his reaction was to shriek in horror,
> scutter
> >frantically across the floor and go try to hide underneath the nearest
> border
> >collie. Since then, the only way he will allow himself to be taken
>outside
> is
> >hiding inside Mummy's shirt and peering suspiciously out at the
>sinister
> >world. So much for the remake of Born Free in San Dimas.
> >
> > Anyway, when I set out the bucket of beet pulp, I may have
>underestimated
> the
> >lengths that a young and enthusiastic squirrel will go to to stash all
> >available food items in new and unusual hiding spots. I thought
>letting
> >William out of his cage as usual and giving him a handful of almonds
>to go
> >cram under cushions and into sleeping dog's ears was sufficient
> entertainment
> >for the afternoon. After all, when I left, he was gleefully chortling
>and
> >gloating over his pile of treasure, making sure the
> > cockatoo saw them so he could tell her I Have Almonds And You Don't.
>Sigh.
> So
> > much for blind optimism.
> >
> > Well, apparently when the almond supply ran out, beet pulp pellets
>became
> >fair game and I can only imagine the little rat finding that great big
> bucket
> >and swooning with the possibilities of being able to hide away All
>That
> Food.
> >The problem isn't quite so much that I now have three pounds of beet
>pulp
> >pellets cleverly tucked away in every corner of my house, it's that as
>far
> as
> >I can tell, the soaking-expanding-and-falling-apart process seems to
>be
> kinda
> >like nuclear meltdown. Once the reaction gets started, no force on
>earth is
> >going to stop it. So when I happily came back from the grocery store,
>not
> only
> >do I find an exhausted but incredibly Fulfilled squirrel sprawled out
> snoozing
> >happily up on the cat tree, I find that my house smells like a feed
>mill
> and
> >virtually every orifice is crammed full of beet pulp. This includes
>the
> >bathroom sink, the fish tank filter, in my undie drawer, in the kitty
>box
> >(much to their horror) and ALL the pockets of my bookbag. I simply
>can't
> WAIT
> >to turn on the furnace and find out what toasting beet pulp smells
>like.
> >
> > The good news is that in case of siege, I have enough carbohydrates
>hidden
> in
> >my walls and under the furniture to survive for years. The bad news is
>that
> as
> >soon as I try to remove any of the Stash, I get a hysterical squirrel
> clinging
> >to my pant leg, tearfully shrieking that I'm ruining all his hard work
>and
> now
> >he's going to starve this winter. (This is despite the fact that
>William is
> >spoiled utterly rotten, knows how to open the macadamia nut can all by
> himself
> >and has enough of a tummy to have earned him the unfortunate nickname
> Buddha
> >Belly.)
> >
> > So in case anyone was losing sleep wondering just how much final
>product
> you
> >get after soaking three pounds of beet pulp, the answer is a living
>room
> full.
> >I'd write this New Data up and submit it as a case study paper to the
> >nutrition and physiology society, but I suspect the practical
>applications
> may
> >be limited.
> >
> > Off to go empty the Shop-Vac. Again.
>
>___________________________________________________________________
>You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
>Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html
>or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]
>
>
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net.
>Information, Policy, Disclaimer: http://www.endurance.net/RideCamp
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net.    
Information, Policy, Disclaimer: http://www.endurance.net/RideCamp   
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=