Re: Fear & riding

[EAMULE@aol.com]

Hello, Jan,

Your experience just about parallels mine.  I know that the more I ride the
better I cope.  It is true the longer you stay off the harder it is to get
back on.  That was my problem back in '91 when I REALLY wanted to try
endurance.  I had not ridden regularly, but I just got stubborn and did it.
The more I rode the better shape I was in and the more the horse responded,
the more I enjoyed it.  But the mental energy it took to get there was
unbelievable.  I want it again, but I have trouble finding that energy.

Somewhere along the line I got spooked again.  I didn't ride as much and all I
had gained dwindled away.

Your fear of other people's horses and wanting a guarantee that they won't
buck is my situation exactly.  Also, I WILL NOT ride young green broke horses
again.   I look at the 4 month old filly that I bought along with her mother.
I shudder inside thinking about getting on her in a few years even after a
trainer has worked with her.  I may sell her before that point just to avoid
it.  

Bucking is really the only aspect of horses that scares me.  I can deal with
runaways, spookers, or stumblers although sometimes I don't realize they
stumble and think it's a buck!  I could even deal with it if a horse climbed a
tree with me on its back.  If a horse resists doing what I ask my fear will
surface because it could start bucking. 

I have been bucked off twice in the last 4 years, fortunately they were not
hard bucks and only my pride was injured.  It helped me a lot, I thought, that
when I was thrown the first of these two times that knowing that I survived,
uninjured, had a "calming" effect on me.  Bucks were survivable.  I had
thought that if I ever was thrown again after my big one I would be
hysterical, but I wasn't.  That feeling didn't last very long, but I try to
think about it and try to get it to work for me.  

Thanks for you note.  
Ellen
Memphis