[Fwd: Something you might like]

[Softride <softride@cdsnet.net>]

Pat Hopkins wrote:

> This is (reportedly) a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.
> Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is
> currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
> Cause".  Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee
> "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
> "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> "What sort of trouble?"
> "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
> "Went away?"
> "They disappeared."
> "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> "Nothing."
> "Nothing?"
> "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> "How do I tell?"
> "Can you see the C:\prompt on the screen?"
> "What's a sea-prompt?"
> "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
> "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
> "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> "What's a monitor?"
> "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
> a
> little light that tells you when it's on?"
> "I don't know."
> "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
> cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> "Yes, I think so."
> "Great!  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
> the wall."
> "Yes, it is."
> "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> "No."
> "Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other
> cable."
> "Okay, here it is."
> "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
> your computer."
> "I can't reach."
> "Well, can you see if it is?"
> "No."
> "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
> "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's
> dark."
> "Dark?"
> "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
> the
> window."
> "Well, turn on the office light then."
> "I can't."
> "No? Why not?"
> "Because there's a power outage."
> "A power... A power outage?  Aha!  Okay, we've got it licked now.  Do you
> still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
> in?"
> "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
> was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you got it from."
> "Really?  Is it that bad?"
> "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

-- BEGIN included message

• To: daniels@cdsnet.net,softride@cdsnet.net, BRUHNER@dshs.wa.gov,jyoung@multinets.com@internet, Geowhite@juno.com,Bcurrier@mnetsys.com, psu06239@odin.cc.pdx.edu,jennifer.meadows@oya.state.or.us, Pulver@sou.edu,Sanpei@sou.edu, indian@tri-lakes.net, Shay@ttj.com
• Subject: Something you might like
• From: "Pat Hopkins" <PatH@ashland.or.us>
• Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1998 10:04:58 -0700
• Delivered-To: softride@cdsnet.net

This is (reportedly) a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.
Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is
currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
Cause".  Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C:\prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
a
little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great!  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the
window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage?  Aha!  Okay, we've got it licked now.  Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you got it from."
"Really?  Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

-- END included message