NOT ENDURANCE RELATED- THIS IS "FLUFF"- DO NOT READ!!!

[Teddy Lancaster <Teddy@runningbear.com>]

> Subject: College Courses
>         A DEGREE TO PERSUE  __________________________________
>
>
>
>
>  ===========================
>
>  College Courses For Both Men & Women
>
>  TO:       Men
>  FROM:     Women
>  RE:       Becoming a Real Man
>
>  Dear Men,
>
>  A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of
>  you should be interested in:  BECOMING A REAL MAN.  That's right, in
>  just six quarters you, too, can be a real man.  Please take a moment to
>  look over the program outline.
>
> FIRST YEAR
>
>  Fall:
>   MEN 101     Combating Stupidity
>   MEN 102     You Too Can Do Housework
>   MEN 103     PMS- Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
>   MEN 104     We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas
>
>  Winter:
>   MEN 110     Wonderful Laundry Techniques
>   MEN 111     Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4AM
>   MEN 112     Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
>   MEN 113     Get a Life, Learn to Cook
>
>  Spring:
>   MEN 120     How NOT To Act Like an Asshole When You're Wrong
>   MEN 121     Understanding Your Incompetence
>   MEN 122     YOU, the Weaker Sex
>   MEN 123     Reasons to Give Flowers
>
> SECOND YEAR
>
>  Fall:
>   SEX 101     You CAN Fall Asleep Without It
>   SEX 102     Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
>   MEN 201     How to Stay Awake After Sex
>   MEN 202     How to Put the Toilet Seat Down
>
>  Winter:
>   MEN 210     The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
>   MEN 211     How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children
>   MEN 212     You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
>   MEN 213     Honest- You Don't Look Like Russel Wong-Especially Naked
>
>  Spring:
>   MEN 220     Omitting @#%^^&*! From Your Vocabulary
>   MEN 221     Fluffing the Blanket After Farting is Not Necessary
>   MEN 222     Real Men Ask for Directions
>   MEN 223     Thirty Minutes of Begging is Not Considered Foreplay
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>  TO:   Women
>
>  FROM:  Men
>
>  Subj.: Overcoming Intolerableness
>
>  Dear Women:
>
>  A new two year degree has been developed to accompany the one outlined
>  above. In the same amount of time it takes to become a real man, you
>  too can learn how to be bearable, in spite of your natural instincts.
>   Look at the degree requirements below.
>
> FIRST YEAR
>
>  Fall:
>   Women 101 - Overcoming the Falacious Assumption that You're Never Wrong
>   Women 102 - How NOT to Act Like An Asshole When You're Right: Avoiding the
>               "I Told You  So" Whine
>   Women 103 - Housework, You Knew It Was Part of the Deal When You Walked In
>   Women 104 - PMS - No, We DON'T Just Have to Put Up With It: Learning NOT
>               to Indulge  Your  Bad Moods
>   Women 105 - How to Wait for Another Person to Finish Speaking Before You
>               Start Talking
>
>  Winter:
>   Women 110 - If It's Your Plan To "Change Him", Don't Marry Him.  A
>               Conceptual Approach to Marrying For Valid Reasons
>   Women 111 - Christmas & Birthdays:  Avoiding the Power Tool Default Mode
>   Women 112 - Stereotypical Assumptions Concerning Male Behaviors and
>               Motivations:  The  Fallacy of Women's Magazine Articles and
>               the "Experts" Who Write Them
>   Women 113 - The Interpersonal Interaction Laboratory: Don"t Ask For "the
>               Truth", When  What  You Really Want Is Agreement
>   Women 114 - How To Act Younger Than Your Mother
>
>  Spring:
>   Women 120 - Get A Life: Your Girlfriends Don't Have the Answer
>   Women 121 - Thinking For Yourself:  You Don't Really Need An Opinion From
>               Ten Other  Know-It-All Women Before Making A Decision
>   Women 122 - The "Best Friend" Problem: She Doesn't Need to Know Every Detail
>               of Our  Relationship, And She DOES NOT Have Input to the
>               Marriage
>   Women 123 - Soap Operas:  Not  A Mirror of Reality
>   Women 124 - Learning to Understand and Accept That We Aren't Required to
>               Adhere to Decisions Your Mother Makes.
>  A Mixed-Gender Seminar Focusing on Privacy Issues and the Betrayal of
>    Trust
>
> SECOND YEAR
>
>  Fall:
>   Sex 101 -   You CAN Learn To Stop Using It As A Weapon
>   Sex 102 -   The Role of Sex in Marriage.  If We Don't Get It Here,
>               It's a) Grounds For Divorce, b) O.K. To Get It Elsewhere
>   Sex 103 -   How To Participate in the Sexual Act - If It Was Enjoyable
>               Before We Were  Married, Why Is It Dirty & "Immature" Now?
>   Sex 104 -   Foreplay: The Two-Way Street with No Stop Signs
>
>  A Series of Discussions On the Nature of Honesty in Relationships
>
>  Winter:
>   Women 210 - Admonishment and Rebuke: The Death of Love
>   Women 211 - High Horses: How to Avoid Getting Up On One
>   Women 212 - Timliness:  Stifling Your Contempt For It
>   Women 213 - Parenting: Nine Months of a Natural, Biologic Process Does
>               Not Qualify You As An Infallible Expert
>   Women 214 - Feminist Rhetoric: Yes, You're An Equal, Now Give It A Rest
>
>  Spring:
>   Women 220 - Eliminating "Can't You Ever Do Anything Right?" From Your
>               Vocabulary
>   Women 221 - Getting Over the Pain of Knowing That Sometimes, We're Just
>               Not Thinking  About You
>   Women 222 - Saying What You REALLY Mean: The End of Game-Playing
>   Women 223 - Emotional Blackmail: A Twelve Step Program For Kicking the
>               Habit
>   Women 224 -Understanding the Male Response to Emotional Imprisonment


begin:          vcard
fn:             Teddy Lancaster
n:              Lancaster;Teddy
org:            RUNNING BEAR FARM, INC.
email;internet: Teddy@runningbear.com
title:          President
note:           "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want  to test a man's character, give him power." Abraham Lincoln    "Our government has no character"
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