Crewing on 2 wheels.
I have to say I was all in favour of crewing sue on her Tyro ride, at
Lyme Park, only just down the road from us. I had to crew on a
motorbike since that was all I had.
So we hired a driver and his waggon to get to the venue, with me and
Sue trailing along behind on the 'bike. All the water, horse, saddle,
bridle, sponges, kichen sink and anything else that would fit
travelled in the waggon.
On arrival we unload everything, tack the horse up, and "tack" the
bike up. I'm fully equiped with a three gallon water container held
on to the rear pannier by an elasticated cargo-net, a small bucket
strapped on top of that, and a spare slosh bottle. Off we go.
Philly and Sue whizz away down the route, and off I go, out the
venue, turn right (lucky Sue thought to photocopy the map for me) and
we meet up at a suitable location, Sue didn't want anything. Have you
ever noticed that most of the time the rider never seems to want
anything! Oh well, to the next meeting point. I'm getting a little
bored waiting at the traffic lights, and I decide to have a little
fun, wiggle my way to the front of the queue, wait for the lights,
and OFF we go! Brmmmmmmm Brmmmmmmm, I'm miles away in front of all
the traffic, big smile plastered all over my face.
One of the fates must have spotted me, I've accelerated away so fast
the elastic cago-net has stretched allowing the water container to
fall off and drag on the floor wearing a hole in one corner of it.
It's time to stop, letting all those car drivers pass me, more haste
less speed I suppose, and turn the can so the hole is pointing at the
sky. Only now it leaks when I speed up, slow down, turn corners, look
over my shoulder, smile, frown, almost anything spilling water on the
seat which trickles towards ME! I don't know how many of you have
ever riden a motorbike in the rain, but it does seem that a wet
"seat" goes with the territory, sometimes it doesn't even have to be
raining. Fortunately the rest of the ride was a success event though
Sue didn't get a tyro rosette and I start crewing in earnest on the
bike.
Now, I've got to tell you an important thing about crewing on a
'bike, and that's the rain. You may think that rain is just water
falling from the sky, well it isn't, it's millions of little evil
dropplets all collected into one place with only one idea, and that's
to fall on ME. I've probably driven in the rain for two hours just to
get to the venue, been crewing in the rain for another two hours,
I've probably still got another four hours before Sue's finished the
ride and then there's another half hour wait before the vet, then
still more waiting for the rosette and then I have to drive home and
all in the RAIN! The territorial army thought everyone at Hartington
was absolutly stark staring mad, and I'm inclined to agree with them.
Back to more practical matters.
I've crewed Sue on a number of rides and I've come up with
a system that seems to work. My standard "packing list" goes
something like:
Two or three 3 litre Robinsons squash bottles, (they've got useful handles on
them) in both side panniers. It's more stable, and quicker to use for
those occasions when you only just beat the rider to the crew point.
one lowish profile water bucket strapped to the rear carrier with one
spare stirrup leather, equi-boot, bottle of Coke, and plenty of
waggon wheels (or whatever takes your fancy) in it.
one photocopy of the map, always scrunched up as small as possible
and kept inside my glove for easy access, marked with crew points.
This is an essential item, if you forget to bring one you can usually
scrounge one from the organisers. Although I have crewed without a
map; screaming 'round the countryside crewing, rushing back to the
venue, memorising the route to the next crew point from the map in
the organisers tent and rushing off again at top speed, it is not to
be recommended.
A book for when I'm waiting. I try to make sure it's an old paperback
because it doesn't matter so much when it dissolves in a torrential
downpour.
and more recently one of those yellow crew cards strapped to the
seat, write on these with indelible ink, for when it rains.
If it's raining I do wear an oversuit, mine's got a bit leaky now but
it does helps, not a lot, but it does help.
This seems to keep me going. Even if on occasion I do look like a one
man aid convoy, or more likely a biker tramp.
We've got a small hose box now, so I don't have to ride to the venue,
we load the 'bike into the back. Sounds easy doesn't it? Pah! First
we tried pushing it up the ramp, we barely got the front wheel on the
ramp before giving up through exhaustion, the bike weighs half as
much as one of our horses, and it's pretty much dead weight. This
failing we go for option 2, I ride the bike up evil kenivel style.
Not my preferred option I have to say, I mean what if I can't stop in
time, or I'm going to slow to get up the ramp! Anyway it works! The
bike's in! Fate looks down on me once more and laughs an evil laugh.
The bike's wider than the van! I can't turn it around to wheel it
out! Eventually I steel myself to ride the thing backwards down the
ramp, [remember folks, don't do this at home], I'm pretty sure I've
never been so scared in all my life.
We've got it all figured out now, I still do the evil kenivel bit to
get the bike into the van, but we lower it out very, very, very
slowly using a pully contraption, you may have seen us.
There are some advantages to crewing on a 'bike, not least the
scenery, and the ability to beat the traffic queues you sometimes get
near places like Clumber Park, but the biggest advantage to crewing
on a motor bike is that it's better than crewing on a push bike.
Yes, it's true, I have crewed on a push bike, three times if you must
know, it doesn't seem to get easier. You too can crew on a push bike,
if you're masochistic enough, but there are some guidelines you must
follow.
1. It must be hilly, undulating will do as long as half the work is
uphill.
2. You must arrive at the venue late so your partner will tack up and
disappear before you're ready.
3. You must arrive at checkpoint 1 just after (a minute is usually
sufficient) your rider has passed through.
4. You must arrange two crew points which are really close together
on the map, and even at the same height, but in reality are separated
by the sort of path that is used to field test the latest tank. This
path will of course goes through a gorge that puts the grand canyon
to shame. While you're cycling through the sort of territory world
class mountain bikers would give up on your partner will be having
the fastest ride of their life and will inevitably beat you to the
crew point once again.
Some other tricks I've come up with are:
1. Find a nice sheltered dry spot to wait, bus shelters are a
god-send.
2. Keep an eye open for storm clouds coming over the horizon, these
usually forecast the approach of your rider. After all if you've
managed to beat them to a crew point then they must be having a awful
time of it and won't be in the least bit happy to see you.
3. Try and get back to the venue before your rider, it is considered
good form.
4. Buy a stripey tee shirt, a french linguaphone tape, and some
onions to sell to gullible locals, you might as well try to make some
money out of it.
One day I might crew from a car, I got a lift in one once, quite
pleasent really, and I didn't event get wet! Although I have to say
I've been examining all the ride maps to see if there's any suitable
shortcuts, one day I think I'll crew from horseback, and see what
that's like.
sue
sue.cunningham@mcc.ac.uk