Members of the Official B,P, and M club

["odd farm" <jsalas@tampabay.rr.com>]

You know, the  Bitch, Piss and Moan About Everything club. They are everywhere. School, work and endurance rides. Even in our own homes.

 

Reading about the DVE ride makes me go "HMMM?" but I am not picking on the original author.

 

I just went to a great ride this weekend. The trails were so well marked I never looked at the map. It rained the night before and some of the trails had just been blazed days earlier. The VOLUNTEERS had gone out and spray painted so many roots and put flags in as many holes as they could. Yet, the  B,P and M members griped about the trail conditions. Should the ride manager have gone out and paved the trail?? Weather and trail conditions are out of our hands unless the man upstairs owes you a favor.

 

We could always put on a ride at a mile racetrack and do 50 loops there. Perfect! Wouldn't that be fun?

 

What IS in our control are some of the things that are my pet peeves.  The riders themselves.

 

The rider who insists on starting in the front of the pack where there are at least 60+ riders jammed tight. They are riding a horse with a red ribbon and the biggest freak'in shoes on their mounts back feet. Huh? What the hell is that all about?? If your kid goes to school and gets into a fight with every kid, do you start sending him in with a red beanie on his head and boxing gloves so the other kids will stay away? NO! You teach YOUR kid not to fight. If you can't get your horse to stop kicking, start in the back of the pack or get another horse. Stop giving me dirty looks because your horse is a kicker. Your the liability, not me.

 

I had a rider cut in front of me several times and then turn around and tell me to stop riding up on her horses butt. That was a good one!

 

My favorite is the rider who insists on stopping every mile or every water puddle, which ever comes first, and gets sooooo pissed when YOU don't stop for the 15th time so their horse can take those two sips.

 

Listen, this IS racing. That is why they give out 1st place, top ten and BC AWARDS. Everybody is hoping to win. Not many riders spend that much money and time to go and "train". I am not out there to be Miss Manners. If someone wants to pay my entry fee, gas, groceries and other necessities, I will be more than happy to baby sit a horse that can't drink by itself, can't pee by itself, can't let horses pass, can't pass others without bolting , can't stand horses galloping behind or any of the other variety of complaints I hear. Heck, I would have even paid someone to baby-sit me on a few rides!

 

Don't get me wrong now, (although I know most of you will) I have been there, done that. I have had my bridle come off my horse at a full gallop, not once but twice. Riders helped my stop my horse and offer to fix my bridle. That is trail etiquette. (Thank you Jackie,Vicki and Harry) I insisted that they go on but they insisted on helping. Injuries, falls, broken equipment is one thing. If the horses on the track were racing and one horse stopped to pee, do the other horses have to stop and wait?? I don't think so. (that is Terry's analogy. he knows everything).

 

I have ridden my own horses who bolted, shied, wouldn't drink or would scream for miles until we caught up to someone. But that was always MY problem. Not the other riders. Oh, I bitched about it, but it was still my problem. I wouldn't dream of telling someone to stop one mile from the finish so my horse could drink out of that last mud puddle. Or, how about when you are coming up the home stretch and someone yells at you for galloping past them? "Hey! You shouldn't sneak up on riders and spook their horses!! That is just plain rude." I had to write that one down in my book of no-no's. No sneaking up to the finish line. Oh-tay.

 

My number one peeve is the rider who complains about EVERYTHING,  and helps with nothing. They have more pulls than completions because even though they complain about the tough terrain, they still haul ass. Even though they complain  that it is 85 degrees with 90% humidity, they still haul ass. The reason their horse is sooo dehydrated is because no one would stop for it to drink. Their horse may finish with a grade one or two lameness but by God, they insist on a full completion because "to finish is to win" and they are finished. It matters not that their horse couldn't take another step. Besides, ride management should have fixed the trails and changed the weather. HMMM? There you go. Horsemanship and sportsmanship at it's worst. Role model material I'd say.

 

I do retain the right to my lifetime membership of the Official Bitch, Piss and Moan about everything Club because after all, I am a Mutha!

 

Lisa Salas, The Odd Farm  It does matter, otherwise we wouldn't be here.