The part about the cost of hauling a second raffle horse home is not really an issue. I was thrilled she won. The horse did not cause any trouble or damage to the trailer. Someone had mentioned in a private post that a per horse fee should be charged, but how was this person to know she would be (I) hauling an extra horse home. ----- Original Message ----- From: Deanna German Sent: Friday, November 01, 2002 12:01 PM To: Ridecamp Subject: Re: [RC] [RC] Sharing expenses to rides OK, this got wierd in a hurry, didn't it?
I have no idea what lead these two down this sad road, but as a valid RC topic, I can elaborate on my previous post of my own successful (I think! Never assume!) hitching experiences and offer some ideas for future hitchers and hitchees.
No matter who does the asking and who does the offering, I felt it was my obigation as the hitcher to create a win-win situation. As the hitcher, I imagined myself at the bottom of a big hole of generosity which it was my responsibility to dig myself out of. Even if the ride was offered, by accepting I accepted my hitcher's obligation.
It's best if the "who pays what" is settled before the trailer leaves the driveway. If I was stuck in a situation where I thought that the person doing the trailering wasn't taking enough from me (gee, that pretty much covers every ride I ever hitched!), I try to make it up. With my barn owner, I do little extras around the barn or kick in with little doo dads that make life around the barn easier. With others who have let me hitch, I try to find ways to make it up to them. I've found that people who won't take cash will take gifts or time.
This cycle can get pretty hysterical with both parties trying to outdo each other in what they're giving or doing! I hope that's where I'm at with all 3 hitchees! And now I'm in the spot where I think a hitcher gave me too much $$. So the cycle begins anew.
I can relate to the "wanting things done one way" mode of being. I like my stuff a particular way. I'm generous with my stuff, and my horse, but I watch like a hawk. If *I* borrow something (and I don't do so without asking), I put it back in as good as or better condition than it was before I used it. I expect the same from others. A fellow boarder borrowed my horse for a short ride this summer and, because things didn't come back the way she found them (esp. the horse!), no more borrowing those things. Some people just aren't detail oriented enough to satisfy me. OTOH, I recently let someone borrow my horse and tack for a 15 mile ride. Everything came back the same or better than it left. (Especially the horse!) Yeah, I like people like that!
Here's to creating win-win situations!
Deanna
--------------------------------------------- Well I guess there are two sides to every story. I DID in fact pay for 1/2 the gas or OFFERED 1/2 gas (which was declined) EVERYWHERE we went. I have receipts of it to the Alpine ride which I paid in debit card. I NEVER asked for these rides--they were ALWAYS offered. I have yet to see a cell phone bill in which I made these calls--which I would be happy to pay for.....
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