Ridecamp: [RC] Loss of a Friend

I have been lurking on this list for 1 1/2 years now.... and find myself in a position to seek some comfort from people that I respect and that I know have been here before.

Allezeer
April 11, 1983 - October 24, 2002

Last Thursday I was in the unfortunate position of having to make the decision to put my friend down.  His colic had produced circumstances that had given him little to no chance to survive.  Had money been the issue... I would have spent all the money in the world to save him.  
Our life started together 15 years ago in October of 1987.  A beautiful chestnut with a white blaze and 1 white sock- I fell in love with him immediately.  He was an unbroke gelding that had seen some abuse at the hands of several well known halter trainers.  It took some time and some learning, on both parts, but we got past this and developed a relationship that was equal to none.  My friend Beth always said she'd never seen two more connected.  He knew when I was in the barn, even if I stood at the door and never said a word.  He'd always lift his head and nicker or if out in the pasture the minute he would see me he'd head towards me always eager to begin our day together.  His nickers were a joy to hear..... we were complete when we were together.  
After showing in class A shows (and doing well!)  we were looking for something different.... we found roping ranch cattle, parelli, and finally, last year, Endurance riding.  We started the year off with a 15 mile novice competitive trail ride.  Boy, did we enjoy it and to top it off, we won 1st place!  Life altering situations occured that summer... we didn't compete again until August when we completed a 30 mile competitive ride and again won it!  Zeers tendons really filled in after that ride and I thought about retiring him.... which is when I bought his best friend (High Noon).... but, I really didn't want to retire him... he has such spirit, such love for the trail, such love for me.  
This last year was rough on him.. I could tell he just didn't always feel right. We continued going down the trail... just at a much more sedate pace than Zeer would have liked.  If only we had found endurance riding at a much younger age.... I truly think Zeer would have made a wonderful long distance horse!  He didn't have the biggest feet or the thickest bone.. but, he had the heart, the love of competition, and the love of his friend, Me.  We would have made a formidable team! 
I always told my mom that I was going to marry a horse... in 1987 I married Zeer.  He was with me and pulled me through so much.  The death of my brother, the loss of my best friend Beth, a marriage to my 2nd husband (Zeer will always be the first), the loss of my job, moving,yet again together.... all of these within the last 2 years of our life together! 
On Thursday October 24th at 5:45 p.m. I laid my best friend, my love, my soulmate to rest.  It is many years too soon.  My heart aches for him, to see his face, kiss his forehead, to just sit and watch him eat grass yet again.  He was my heart, my strength, my friend.  Someday, he will return to me.  It will never be soon enough.  Now, he is buried out by his friend, his girlfriend, and the pony he loved to boss around- in a place that I can see from the house- a place that I visit everyday- a place where I will put some roses on our 15th Anniversary together.  
Give your horses a kiss tonight- right on the forehead..... tell them it from Kris and Zeer- the horse of a lifetime and the girl who loved him.   
With a heavy heart, 
Kristin