Moral Dilemma and tact.

[guest@endurance.net]

Nina Vasiliev rides4fun@hotmail.com
It can be tricky to handle a question about a trainer, farrier, vet of
whom you don't approve. But I think a limited answer can speak volumnes
without slipping into gossip.

When someone tells me that they are going to use someone who I think is a
really bad choice, I look my friend in the eye, hold for a beat and say
something like, "I think there are better choices." or "I think you (or
your horse) would be better served elsewhere."  Then if they try to get
more info from me, I drop the eye contact and get busy with things around
me. I might add "I like working with so and so," or "There are some great
people out there, I think it would be better to keep looking."

It's tempting to give my opinion but I find that once I start talking, I
say too much. It's like an unburdening. But by not giving details, I've
still given fair warning.

There are times that are exceptions.  Sometimes to someone close I'll say
something specific but overall, I think it's better to keep the details to
myself.

Now in this case, where there was real abuse...I would seriously consider
calling the authorities.  It would be worth sparing other horses the same
fate.

Just MHO.

Nina