Panic Attack - Long

[guest@endurance.net]

Sallie Sullivan mateef@aol.com
I've got a BIG problem. Lastnight I was going to go on a moonlight ride
with a friend. Trailered over to friend's house and saddled up my 5yo
mare. I spent time tightening the saddle one notch at a time, but I'm
thinking not enough time now.  She stood perfectly still while I got on
but I could tell (hindsight being 20/20) that she wasn't comfortable as
soon as I settled my butt in the saddle. Should have gotten off right then
(that 20/20 hindsight again). After I tried to relax her by bending her
head a couple of times, she completely exploded.  To make
a long story short, she flipped over on me, paused, got up and
flipped over again. She either hit her head when she fell the second time
and passed out or passed out from hyperventilating and therefore fell.  It
seemed a very long time before we could get her up.
Completely stripped her tack, I had to physically unlock her jaw to get
her to release the bit to get the bridle off. Once we finally did get her
up, she had a couple of places where hair was missing, but no apparent
lasting ill effects from all this.
Here's my problem. I'm convinced this was a panic attack arising from
(a) the saddle being too snug too quick and (b) I just had her shoes
pulled and she was standing on rough gravel and her feet hurt.  I'm
planning on changing the rigging on my saddle to be able to use a girth
with elastic in it to aleviate that claustrophic feeling she must have had
and of course I'll be more cognizant of her footing.  I really feel that
she's just immature and needs me to help her through this. My husband
feels she's downright dangerous and wants me to get rid of her. I'm fairly
banged up and bruised from her landing on me,
but it could have been worse.  What should I do?
Thanks for any insights or suggestions.
Sallie from NE Ohio