Selling Horses Woes

["beth glover" <bgloverhrsewmn@hotmail.com>]

Hi Ridecamp; I have embarked (again) in that self mutilating journey called "selling a horse".  For those of you who do this as a business, are you crazy? How can anyone do this routinely?

I thought I'd share some of my  present and past experiences with you all so that I can put off going on Prozac. Ventilation is good for the soul.

   I have a mare for sale, mostly for financial reasons, but also she is not cut out to do what I want to do. (i.e. she's a show horse mostly)   I put a number of ads listing her price, size, color, gender, past accomplishments, training level, trail miles,  camping experiences, where she has been ridden, (beach, mountains, desert, rivers)show record, age, and a photo. The phone calls come:

   "Has she ever been on the trail before?".

   "Is she a girl or a boy?"

  "What color is she?"

   "What is the lowest amount of money you would take for her?"

  "How much does she weigh?"   (this one really perplexed me..who cares what she weighs?)

 Then the lookie loos come to visit.  One brings a small child who has been horse shopping for 8 hours and probably 300 miles. The kid is whiny , tired, and disinterested.

  "I don't like your saddle!!!" 

She swings her helmet in the horse's face, almost smashing her, gives the horse a dirty look, then the mom tells me, "she doesn't like the horse, she's afraid of it".

   The 80 year old comes to visit. Gets lost on the road. Calls me several times.  Finally shows up 4 hours later.  Declares, "You know, if I fell of a horse and broke my hip, I'd be laid up for a year".    

    Another visitor comes.  "I dont like your saddle!!!"  (Excuse the hell out of me that I provided my $1000+ Stubben for them as well as a helmet)  "I don't like helmets, I only fall on my back".  This one then commenced to fall off onto her back, landing on the sore spot she fell on two weeks before. Damn Saddle.  And to think she was the "expert" to come try the horse for another person.

   Then I get the  emails from teenagers:  "Shhh! Don't tell my parents I'm emailing you daily because I am in love with your horse and want to buy it next year when I get out of school, if my grades come up and my parents stop beating me, and the stalkers quit sending me death threats, and maybe you can keep her for me until then??"

  Then there was the time I had a four year old , hot hot hot halter horse for sale, and this couple shows up to look at her, then tells me they're thinking she would be the perfect cart horse for taking Brides to their wedding. 

   Of course we have the  classic buyer, who doesn't want such an old dried up lousy old horse (15 years) for their child, who surely needs "a frisky one, about 3 or 4 years old." And nobody in the family has ever put on tack before.   And they would like to borrow yours for a month to see if they like it and then send it back if they dont. No money down, no questions asked. 

  The latest one is, " will you send me your most recent vet check?" 

 Does anyone get a written report card every time your vet comes out to give some shots?  I offered her some two year old NATRC cards.  

   Oh how I would love to hook up with a real good rider who is real knowledgeable, and understands the limitations  of a 15 year old horse, but also the benefits.   I have seen some real crappy horses out there, with happy blissful riders who explain away the kicking, biting, rearing, refusing, bolting and lameness's.  How do they hook up? It's a mystery.  

    So how should I word my next ad? something like.."Leave me the hell alone, unless you are a qualified endurance rider that wants a horse that only can go about 35 miles max, and slowly, but prefers the arena. I will not be interested in your drippy nosed children, or anyone with osteoporosis and broken bone injuries, bring your own saddle, and learn how to mount before you get here,get your own trailer, no you can't borrow her, you have to pay cash, don't ask too many questions, don't annoy me and look at the damn picture if you want to know if she is white."   

     Thank you all for allowing me to pull my hair out here in public! Beth

---

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com