Ridecamp Visits the Twinkie Debate

[Howard4567@aol.com]

In an effort to come up with my definition of twinkies and to lure Mr. Ivers 
back to RC, I have gone back to the archives to relive the salted twinkie 
debate.  I tried to keep it in chronological order and include everyone who 
participated.  I'm sending a copy to Tom, not only to see if he'll come back, 
but to show him what he's been missing.

cya,
Howard

In a message dated 2/15/00 8:02:13 PM Pacific Standard Time, 
tondi313@yahoo.com writes:

<< She also wouldn't urinate and had to have her twinky salted to get her to 
let go.  It was a bummer.  >>

Say WHAT??  I've never heard of this particular procedure (and it surely does 
sound like a bummer).  What exactly is involved in having your twinkie 
salted?  (Shut up Howard).

Sylvia

See, Howard, that's what you're supposed to do on picnics with naked ladies 
in the woods. Dietetic salt works better. Don't use a shaker--rub it in.

ti

Howard! Next we'll hear that ALL female riders are doing this. Sounds like 
unfair competition to me. Try some salt on YOUR butt!!

John and Meshack


ROFL!!!!!!!!!!  (Howard, you're being awfully quiet here buddy!  Cat got your 
tongue? <g>)

Yankee Witch,
Michigan

From: Sheila <tondi313@yahoo.com> 
     Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2000 07:18:15 -0800 (PST) 
     Cc: ridecamp@endurance.net 
No, no, no.....not the female riders, the mare; she had to have the tip of 
her vulva salted to get her to pee.  My old trainer advised it because the 
mare was so uncomfortable.  I had not seen this either.  You get enough salt 
to stick to the tip of your finger by licking it first, stick it in some salt 
and then place it right at the end of the mare's, ya know, twinky (tip of the 
vulva just inside).  Apparently this is uncomfortable and they will pee, to 
wash it away(almost immediately).

I am not advising anyone to do this, it is what I saw done to this mare that 
was suffering under a very crooked rider.  I guess if you don't like your 
mares to pee in your brand new trailers.......Teddy.

You get enough salt to stick to the tip of your finger by licking it first, 
stick it in some salt and then place >it right at the end of the mare's, ya 
know, twinky >(tip of the vulva just inside).  

I hope it works the FIRST time so you don't have to repeat
the procedure <g>!

RIDECAMP certainly gets some interesting threads! What I didn't know about 
horses?  I wonder if it WOULD work with a RIDER?

HOWARD, you ARE very quiet!  Are you fearful just because she told you to 
shut up?

John and Meshack 

Howard is not that easily intimidated.  And it was a playful "shut up".  
Howard knows I don't really WANT him to shut up.  He must be busy working on 
the lustier parts of his new novel <bg>

Sylvia

I've been trying to avoid this thread, John, knowing that it will most likely 
get me into trouble.  And the bait you're luring me with isn't helping.  
Plus, I believe Sylvia was only trying to save me from myself.  Telling me to 
shut up was her way of saying, "Howard, please don't go there.  It's 
dangerous and you know you'll fall in."

Ah, but, I do like to swim with the sharks, so here goes.  It's been awhile, 
but if memory serves me correctly, the twinkies I tasted, in my youth, were 
already salted.

Geezzz, don't flame me for that one.  It's all John's fault.

cya,
Howard

Your horses twinkies?????????????

Ok, ok, ok, stop it here..... (just joking, can't wait for more ;-) )

Wolfgang

From: "Sandy Bolinger" <bolinger@bigsky.net> 
     Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2000 10:26:52 -0700 
     References: <1a.a3b6a4.25dc33f0@aol.com> 

I don't get it...?!

From: GoldenCMK@aol.com 
     Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2000 12:33:00 EST 
In a message dated 02/16/2000 9:30:45 AM Pacific Standard Time, 
bolinger@bigsky.net writes:

<< I don't get it...?! >>

I think it is best you dont... :)

In a message dated 2/16/00 9:30:48 AM Pacific Standard Time,
> bolinger@bigsky.net writes:
>
> << I don't get it...?! >>
>
> Ohhhhh nooooooo, Whitney, you just stepped into it girlfriend.  They are 
talking about, welllll, the part of a woman's anatomy that is frequently in 
contact with the saddle (if you get my drift).  Any more questions, feel free 
to post privately....or were you yanking their chains?
>
> Sylvia

Hhhmmmmm...the twinkies I remember from my youth were in the grocery store
in a cellophane wrapper and were sweet...and oddly shaped like some other
anatomical part. ;-)

And to try vainly to make this somehow endurance related...the store bought
kind might be a good trail food since they supposedly have a never-ending
shelf life, might provide some quick energy, and never get old and stiff.  ;-)

Sue

sbrown@wamedes.com

oh but they do get *squashed* and the cake part and the cream part  are then 
kind of one and the same and then you're reduced to just licking them off the 
wrapper - of course throwing a squashed twinkie away is just not an option - 
what a waste _that_ would be:)

Tina
twinkie lover - uh, of the storebought kind....

Oh my GAAAWWWWD . . . ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I'm dying here . . .LOLOL . 
. . (forgive us Steph, winter is long, and cabin fever has definately begun 
to set in . . .)

Trish (wiping tears from my eyes . . .) & King David (leave me outa this one, 
I'm just an innocent gelding)
in Michigan

<< No, no, no.....not the female riders, the mare; she  had to have the tip 
of her vulva salted to get her to pee.  >>

Oh! Never mind....

ti

Eeeeew! Howard! You fell for it! Gadzooks! 

ti

bolinger@bigsky.net writes:

<< I don't get it...?! >>

Howard forgot what the honey was for.

ti

And to try vainly to make this somehow endurance related...the store bought 
kind might be a good trail food since they supposedly have a never-ending 
shelf life, might provide some quick energy, and never get old and stiff.  ;-)
 
 Sue >>

You mean old and soggy, don't you?

ti

hehehe...I *knew* somebody would bite on that one. <g>

Sue

first CLAUDIA NEED YOU TO COME AND STAND BY WITH A FIREHOSE!!!!
sorry i am not jumping off this bridge but don't you guys think the inuendo 
has gone on enough? It seems that we have one upset mom already that had to 
explain this to her young daughter. I am sure she didn't need the entire 
crew here on RC to tell her daughter for her.
Now I don't mean to FLAME or get flamed here. But I think it is about time 
we clean up here after all people come to this seeking advice and things of 
that nature. NOT for Sex ED 101 we have enough of that going on in schools.
Gee guys what would you do if your child said HEY MOM DAD they are talking 
about salted TWINKIES?? what is that???????
Carla *getting down from tack box*
Ansata (haley mom is yelling agian)
Haley (yeah she is on that political thing again.)
Rob (standing by with Claudia with firetrucks!)

It seems that we have one upset mom already that had to explain this to her 
young daughter. >>


See John, see what you've gone and done???  And I'm sure I'm gonna get all 
the blame for the young lady's early education.  Well, frankly, I don't let 
my daughter on ridecamp cause I've heard rumors that the Far Out forest 
Pervert, posing as a guest, sneaks in every so often.  

John, I hope you thaw out soon up there in Vermont.  You're obviously at 
home, on the puter, much more than you need to be.  My God man, we have women 
and children in the room!  And you've even distracted TI from his scientific 
studies! Taunting me as you did is like asking a hurricane not to visit South 
Carolina.  You knew it was gonna hit, it was just a question of when.

haha

cya,
Howard (let me finish this story, please)

I have to agree with Carla here....I normally share a good portion of 
ridecamp with my daughter, Jenny and if it weren't for the time constraints 
(she does need to study and do her chores!) I wish she could be on 
it....except for this kind of stuff!  I enjoy a good funny as much as the 
next person but we do have some young people on ridecamp and if my daughter 
were on here and I had no clue about what ridecamp is really about and didn't 
know some of you guys directly and indirectly, I would be spouting
and spewing about it!!!  Time to take it offline if you wish to continue 
this...this is beyond educational anymore!  And yes, you can bet my delete 
button is about done in.  BTW, thanks for all the wonderful posts about step 
stools today!!  At least I have SOMETHING I can share with my kid this 
evening from ridecamp!!!  :)  

Maggie Mieske

You just better be careful, Howard, or I'll have to start the dreaded 
"delicate subject" thread again just for your benefit!!!  Or I could just 
forward all the posts that I filed in a special folder for just such an 
occasion directly to you!  (OK so I DO have a sense of humor!!!)  And, BTW, I 
would never do that with private posts anyway...just trying to keep Howard in 
line!!  :)

Maggie Mieske

HEY  wait a sec!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm the MOM(sandy 
bolinger) My daughter Whitney Bass explains things like this twinkie business 
to ME  ...she's well into her twenties....!!!!!!!!I I'm not upset about 
ANYTHING!!!!!! When Whitney reads everything that has transpired here she is 
probably going to be mortified at the original misunderstanding .....I'm the 
one that didn't get it.....Whitney doesn't even bother to tell me dirty jokes 
anymore! because she always has to explain them.....thanks for the thought 
though.  (If I ever don't get one of Howards posts again, I will pretend that 
I do!!!)
                                  
Sandy(Whitney's confused Mom)

<< thanks for the thought though.  (If I ever don't get one of Howards posts 
again, I will pretend that I do!!!) >>

Sandy!  I would love to be in the room when Whitney reads all those posts and 
realizes that people thought she didn't "get it".  Too funny.  Thanks also 
for clearing up the issue about kids reading this stuff and being scarred for 
life.  Frankly, I think most kids if they did read this would 
a) Not get it at all and think we were putting salt on our twinkies (stupid 
grown ups) or 
b) Totally get it and think we were all like waaaay too immature to bother 
with in the first place.  You guys HAD to know that a few RCers just would be 
physically incapable of letting this subject go by without kicking it around 
a bit.  I think its a hoot that Maggie and Carla of all people should find 
this objectionable!

Sylvia 

Carla----I'm laughing too hard at the minute---how about if I just bring a 
bucket of ice for the burns?
Claudia

I, for one, AM scarred for life! Kids! Warning! Don't try this at home! 

ti

I know some mothers are worried about young kids----BUT---have you seen the
movie "The Spy Who Shagged Me"???    THAT is aimed at young kiddos and my
young granddaughter seemed to understand ALL of the innuendos---and it was
FULL of them - pretty blatant, too.   So, I don't think the kiddos are as
"ignorant" as we might want to think.   Claudia

Try What?????:-)
"Sandy Bolinger" 



HOOT, HOOT yourselves!!  I may express my sense of humor frequently but come 
on!  What did this thread have to do AT ALL with endurance (except to 
pinpoint those with really BAD cases of SADD....)?  I would rather read Tom 
and Heidi having at it any day! Sorry but the humor was lost on me long 
before it ever got to Howard!  This is the kind of stuff that keeps some 
really good endurance riders off this list...having to read through that kind 
of stuff.  I don't mention to certain riders I know anymore that I am on here 
because they have lurked and read a lot of stuff they felt wasn't
worth their time.  If I can get busted for "me, too"s, then this surely 
warrants busting and a fine!!  (I AM keeping my sense of humor while trying 
to make a valid point so no flames please...I am entitled to my point of view 
AND liberal use of the delete key!).

>I, for one, AM scarred for life! >
>ti

Maybe you did the procedure incorrectly......

Ahh, so Ti you ain't as tough as you talk, eh?  <eg>

Sylvia

<< I, for one, AM scarred for life! Kids! Warning! Don't try this at home! 
 
 ti
 
 Try What?????:-) >>

Sandy, I'm sorry, the newsgroup has been censored due to a sudden 
proliferation of Catholic-educated (by my perception) gradeschoolers 
participating in it, which I, obviously, knew nothing about. I have to shut 
up now or the nearest nun is going to swoop over and rap my knuckles with a 
steel-reinforced ruler.  Howard, though, has much more to say on the subject 
at hand, so I'll let him take it from here--his knuckles aready have big 
callouses on them.

ti 

I note that the word twinkie is still in the subject line of your post--are 
you deleting your own stuff? And if you're deleting it, how do you know it's 
going on? Something fishy here.

ti

I know that this thread may not be "endurance-related", but I sure thought
it was funny!!  
Whitney Bass" <bass@bigsky.net> 
Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2

Ti!!!  You're my hero!  You've stood up to tougher adversaries in your day, 
don't fail me now big guy.

And, (with reference to Maggie's post) I would like to know which "real" 
endurance rider didn't want to participate in Ridecamp because of threads 
"like this".  Most "real" endurance riders that I've met don't seem to mind a 
bawdy joke now and then, but they sure as HECK hate being told what to do.  
Also, I must have misunderstood who the list moderator is, I was under the 
impression that it was Steph, No?

Sylvia

Thanks Tom

That was the best line of this thread.  Bet no one even tries to betterthat 
one.

>>Also, I must have misunderstood who the list moderator is, I was under the
impression that it was Steph, No?

Steph is totally speechless ... Ridecamp has risen to new heights. (or would 
that be sunk to new depths....)

Steph

p.s. trying to moderate this list is like trying to herd cats.

My Mom died in November, and my daughter is on a plane to Guam.  I'm lonely, 
it's cold and dark, and you all have kept me company.  The whole twinkie 
thing has been keeping me giggling, and that's a GOOD thing.  I want to know 
more about the honey.  Carbo loading?
Celia Krall

Jeeze this is exactly the type of chat and banter that goes on around the 
campfire at most every SE rides - especially after someone pulls out the 
stash of Long Island Tea - and there are some very good endurance riders that 
are right in the middle mixing it up.

Steph, wasn't this suppose to be a big camp fire - you don't have to answer 
this if you don't want to?
truman.prevatt@netsrq.com 

I can't remember having so much fun. You guys are irrepressive....and 
irreplaceable...and irreverent....... and don't forget, your contributions to 
this thread are irrevocable.
Pat

In a message dated 2/16/00 5:46:23 PM Pacific Standard Time, 
steph@endurance.net writes:

<<  trying to moderate this list is like trying to herd cats.
  >>
This is the best line I have ever heard.  We should modify it to "being an 
AERC Director is like trying to herd cats...."  What a laugher.
Merryben

I kept reading the posts hoping to see
 something from someone about the original post (putting salt on a mare's 
vulva to cause her to pee) that would give us some clue as to whether this 
was something acceptable or not.  I had never heard of anything like it.  I 
know you guys like a good joke and Howard tells some iffy ride stories (still 
enjoy them though) but there are websites specifically just for that kind of 
entertainment.  I don't think this thread was what Steph had in mind when she 
created ridecamp.  
  
 Maggie Mieske


Is there anyone of any substance in endurance riding in Michigan? I don't 
think I've encountered one yet. Tell me of the Michigan Great Ones I'm 
missing. I've met some of the Great Ones in Ridecamp--and they're actually 
Great. If you're not impressed with ridecamp, why are you trying to moderate 
it? 
ti

The whole twinkie thing has been keeping me giggling, and that's a GOOD 
thing.  I
 want to know more about the honey.  Carbo loading?
  >>

Tha was the old fashioned way. this new tecnique almost got me killed. I 
think I'm deaf.

ti

Sort of like harnessing nuclear fission???
 
 Steph >>


That's what Michigan is famous for--fishin'. I knew it was something like 
that--and dead deer on the highway.

ti


I think that's most of it but if you want to relive the entire ordeal go to 
the archives the week of  Feb13-19, 2000.  Too much fun.  Tom, even if you 
don't come back at least post a response please.  

cya,
Howard