funny

[Darolyn Butler <darolyn@swbell.net>]

Hi Campers,
I have many wonderful clients that board and train with me, sometimes,
however, I get a rare jewel, that not only is working to become a good
rider, he arrived a great comedic writer.... I just received the following
in an e mail from this man, Pat Merritt... now a short explanation on the
"ghost stick".

Pat took a spill on Sat.  Pretty good one --- obviously induced by our
famous "Arab Feints"... he's a big man 6'4"  240 lbs.  That's a lot of
stuff to hit the ground... besides smashing his pride, & his Desitin tube,
he did manage to pull a groin muscle... now his horse, Benni, whom he just
acquired in July, is a big ole brute himself... however, one of the great
"shy kings" as well.  I rode him about 20 miles Sat. evening, & after a
cuple of the royal spooks, broke a long slender branch off a tree & later
explained to Pat my theory.   Which is... convince the "Shy Kings" that
there is a worse "Booger" on their back than in the bushes.  When they start
that lookin' roun'.... just a tap will remind them that maybe its not as
scary as they think....  it might take one or two lessons, or a life time,
(my mare Alley still picks her moments), but eventually I think this theory
works pretty good.  Anyway,  the following made me giggle, & I thought I
would share it with the bunch.

By: Pat Merritt

9/18/00

Mark  and Darolyn,

Here is a bit of information that you might pass on to some of your other
inexperienced riders. I  will try to pass on these tidbits as I discover
them. Often riders of your experience forget that those of us who are just
beginning need help from time to time with the little things.

CLEANING DESITIN FROM WATER POUCHES:

From time to time during one's riding career, one may find it necessary to
clean gobs of Desitin from one's riding pouch. Why would anyone want to put
gobs of Desetin in their riding pouch?? You might ask. Well... this could
happen in many ways including allowing the horse to stand on one's water
pouch... standing on it yourself... or perhaps as in the case of this
writer... rolling on top of your water pouch in a ditch. Regardless of the
circumstances of the appearance of the squashed Desitin tube... there is no
need to throw away the whole water carrier any longer. I have found that
liquid dish washing detergent will cut Desetin from anything.  It will take
approximately 14 oz of the cleaner and half an hour with scalding hot water,
but it can be done.

Just passing it along....

(insert from Darolyn---  keep your desitin in a zip lock... sometimes the
abrasion of riding will also wear it open & it does make a mess)

Thanks for the advice on the "ghost stick".  I was amazed at the
effectiveness of this simple tool at keeping the ghosts at bay. As we
started the ride a particularly nasty ghost appeared from the pouch I keep
my water bottle in.  It must have been in there when I placed the bottle in
the little pouch.  Anyway, when I reached back and removed the bottle, Benni
heard the rustling of ghost wings and ducked. Well, naturally I was also
concerned, having never heard ghost wings rustle before and not being
familiar with this particular phenomenon, it took a moment to realize that
we were actually being invaded by a booger from my water pouch. Well, I
immediately put the ghost stick into action and it only took a light
switching of say 25 to 30 strokes to chase it away. From that point on, the
ghost's network passed the word and the assaults grew less and less until
finally, all I had to do was mention the ghost stick under my breath.  I
only hope I either learn to ride or Benni loses his ability to see ghosts
before he begins to think his name is sumbitch...

We had a really nice ride after I chased the ghosts away with Mr. B actually
becoming somewhat attentive and subordinate. He would even pause for
direction from time to time, on occasion requesting a repeat to be sure he
heard correctly.

Now, I may not be able to come out today... unless I totally lose interest
in working which I am about 2/3 of the way there already.
Pat Merritt

(from Darolyn -- hope it was ok to pass this on Pat... just too funny to
keep to myself  --  it could lead to a career as a stand up comedian at the
Annual AERC Convention!!!!!)

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