RC: Fw: A long funny...

["BE" <betndez@budget.net>]

Talking of trainers .  .  .  just received this from a friend. . . . enjoy!

Betty
So. Oregon


>Subject: A long funny...
>
>
>> Stolen from an Equisearch.com message board, which stole it from a USDF
>> board, which probably also got it from somewhere else. You might want
>avoid
>> riding gurus like this one...
>>
>> Riding high on the success of such books as "You're My Mare Not My
Mother"
>> and "Denial Ain't What Keeps The Horseshoe On," Pamela Wilsby-Higgins is
>> holding clinics across the country to promote her latest book and
>> infomercials "From A Whisper To A Scream: When Your Horse Can't Hear
You."
>> The plucky blonde, so progressive in her methods of equine communication
>> she's called "The Woman Who E-Mails to Horses," is the first woman to
>> receive national attention in the growing field of touchy-feely horse
>> training. Although successful, Pamela has been criticized for her
>unorthodox
>> techniques and is the first to admit she's not a traditional horse
>trainer.
>> "Training is such a worn out concept, even the word 'train' is archaic,
it
>> comes from the Old French trahiner, to drag. And that's just what
training
>> is, a BIG DRAG!
>> "What I'm interested in is communicating with problem horses, letting
them
>> know they're not alone. Since I too have issues with trust and a history
>of
>> abusive, dysfunctional relationships, I understand what they're going
>> through. I can also relate to frustrated riders. As I wrote in 'You're My
>> Mare Not My Mother,' at one point a guilt-tripping gelding shamed me into
>> believing if I were a prettier, thinner, smarter person I wouldn't be
>having
>> riding problems. "My goal is to facilitate people away from the
>> 'Self-Centered' riding made popular in the 1980s to a more
>> 'Co-Dependant'riding where the horse and rider work closely to deepen
>their
>> relationship and become enmeshed in the riding experience."
>> In defense of reports that her clinics are among the most expensive in
>this
>> new industry, Pamela is unapologetic. "You get what you pay for. Horses
>are
>> individuals and it takes time to discover what form of communication
works
>> best for them. Whispering to horses is fine, but some respond better to
>> murmuring or babbling, while still others prefer mime or slide shows. I
>have
>> found when working with a herd, semaphore is the most effective."
>> Pamela further points out that not all bad horse behavior is the result
of
>a
>> negative breaking experience. "Horses are very sensitive and can have a
>> variety of problems, both emotional and paranormal. They can suffer from
>> depression, low self-esteem, eating disorders, even repressed memories.
>Most
>> people are unaware of the large number of horses who are survivors of
>alien
>> abduction. I have found that repressed memories of such abductions are
the
>> primary cause of trailering difficulties. There are also horses unfairly
>> labeled 'spooky,' when their behavior is actually an appropriate response
>to
>> poltergeist activity."
>> Pamela's symposiums cover a wide range of topics, such as: Reimprinting
>the
>> Inner Foal,Excessive/Compulsive Dressage,Gymkhanta? Andelusions of
>Grandeur,
>> Bi-Polar Bending, A.D.D. in Arabians, Fear of Flying Lead Changes, and
>> Feeling Suicidal? Consider Eventing. When not on tour, Pamela offers
>weekend
>> retreats at Passing Wind, her Malibu, California Ranch, that focus on
>> specific breeds and riding disciplines. She will also customize sessions
>to
>> meet a client's particular needs and budget. "Once we even re-birthed a
>> Tennessee Walker to help her face her 'Water issues.' It was exhilarating
>> and only 3 or 4 people were injured." Pamela was unable to comment
further
>> on this event as the matter is still in litigation. Pamela began
>developing
>> her techniques under the tutelage of GoWaan PoOLmiFynGer, the charismatic
>> shaman of the Diamond-Phillips tribe and author of the ground breaking
>book,
>> "Horse Buck Hard." "The whole monosyllabism of Horse Buck Hard
overwhelmed
>> me with its Zen. I knew instantly I had to study with him." GoWaan
>> PoOLmiFynGer introduced Pamela to his tribe's ancient practices of
>> Equine-Aromatherapy, Prance-Channeling, Stall Feng Shui, Public Relations
>> and Marketing. "GoWaan taught me so much. Not only did I learn how
>> frequently riders with dysfunctional personal lives project unresolved
>> emotional issues into their horses, but the outrageous amounts of money
>they
>> are willing to pay to be told it isn't their fault."
>> Pamela went on to become GoWaan PoOLmiFynGer's assistant when he toured
to
>> promote his calendar and video, Buckskin, Beads and Beefcake. "It was a
>> great gig," she reflects, "but I knew it wouldn't last, when I noticed
>most
>> of the women attending his sold-out clinics didn't have horses."
>> She next traveled to the Australian outback, where she studied with
>> acclaimed Snowy River Kanguru Bruce Fosters, whose masterwork, "The
>> Principles Of Bonding From Brumbies to The Boardroom," has become an
>> integral part of the executive training programs of many ultinational
>> corporations. "Bruce is an incredible visionary. He was the first person
>to
>> theorize that a rearing horse is really just asking for a hug!"
>> Since starting her own clinics, Pamela has emphasized the differences
>> between her methods and those of her contemporaries, but she does admit
to
>> performing the crowd pleasing, ubiquitous
>get-an-unstarted-horse-to-accept-a
>> saddle, bit, bridle and rider-without-breaking-its-spirit-in-under-an
hour
>> demonstration. "Of course, since I'm using the techniques I've developed,
>my
>> version is different from what people have come to expect after seeing
>other
>> clinicians. For example, I find using a pyramid-shaped pen, instead of a
>> round pen, brings more energy to the session. I also use indirect
>lighting,
>> scented candles and soft music. I start by having a few glasses of wine
>with
>> the horse, then begin to recount my earliest childhood memories of
>> separation and abandonment, while lunging the horse at a trot. After
>several
>> minutes of this, usually at the point in my litany of victimization where
>my
>> abusive second husband leaves me for
>> my farrier, the horse will begin to go through a visible change. While
>still
>> at a trot, it will start shaking its head and trying to cover its ears.
>This
>> is the moment I call 'The Throw Up.' The Throw Up is the point a horses
>> reaches when it can't stand listening to my problems any more and will do
>> anything to get me to stop, ncluding being saddled, bridled and ridden
for
>> the first time. "People think it's magic when they see how willing the
>horse
>> becomes once I shut up and start saddling, but there's nothing mysterious
>> about it. I just have a very annoying voice and more issues than T.V.
>> Guide."
>> Future goals for Pamela include developing a web site, and a 900 number.
>"I
>> envision a network where for only 99 cents per minute, riders can speak
to
>> their own Psychic Tele-Trainer, that I've personally educated. I also
plan
>> to explore the financial aspects of communicating with other animal
>species.
>> I'm willing to discourse with dogs or chat with cats. I'll even vocalize
>> with vermin if there's money in it."
>>
>> ______________________________________________________
>> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ridecamp is a service of Endurance Net, http://www.endurance.net.    
Information, Policy, Disclaimer: http://www.endurance.net/RideCamp   
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=