Fw: movies

["superpat" <superpat@gateway.net>]

I'm sorry guys,
This made me laugh so hard that I could not pass up giving all of you a
light hearted break from all those heavy topics which crop up from time to
time. And to make it ride related:

If you race into town on your horse and have to run in for a cold brew, just
hop off and race into the bar and even after a few fist fights and
shootings, your horse will be waiting patiently for you to ride off at a
fast gallop. No matter that he had no water or food after galloping from the
last town a day away.

                                             or

While riding, if someone starts shooting at you, just swing over and hang on
the side using your horse as a shield. Don't worry, the horse will just keep
loping along and not get hurt. Those bullets (or arrows) will harm only
humans.


>
> THINGS YOU'D NEVER KNOW IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE MOVIES:
>
>    Large loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable,
>    even if the tenants are unemployed.
>
>    One of a pair of identical twins is evil.
>
>    Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to
>    cut. You will always choose the right one.
>
>    It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving
>    martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by
>    one ... dancing around in a threatening manner until you have
>    dispatched their predecessors.
>
>    When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
>    will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.
>
>    If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous
>    expert on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else,
>    at the age of 22.
>
>    Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two
>    before retirement.
>
>    Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
>    enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses,
>    lasers, buzz saws, and hungry sharks, all of which will give their
>    captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
>
>    During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club
>    at least once.
>
>    All beds have special L-shaped covers that reach up to the armpits of
>    a woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside her.
>
>    All grocery shopping bags contain at least one baguette and one bunch
>    of carrots with leafy tops.
>
>    It's easy to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control
>    tower to talk you down.
>
>    If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while
>    scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your
>    mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.
>
>    The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No
>    one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to
>    any other part of the building without difficulty.
>
>    You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
>    the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
>
>    Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not
>    necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
>
>    A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating, but
>    will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
>
>    If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange
>    noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is what they happened
>    to be wearing when the car broke down.
>
>    If someone says "I'll be right back," they won't.
>
>    Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to
>    turn the steering wheel from time to time.
>
>    All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
>    readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
>
>    A police detective can only solve a case after he has been suspended
>    from duty.
>
>    If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will
>    be able to mirror all the steps you come up with, and hear the music
>    in your head.
>
>    Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
>    each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
>
>    When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
>    other.
>
>
>
>


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